Original anecdotes, commentary, rumination, and occasional pontification.
APRIL 28, 2024 – It being a Sunday morning, I poured myself a cup of Java, repaired to the reading room, leaned back in my easy(-going) chair, put on some very dead white guy music, and last but best . . . pulled up the Sunday edition of The Times on my laptop screen. Ah-h-h! …
APRIL 20, 2023 – Every month or so for many months running, a good college friend calls me and opens the conversation with, “So, when are this Jack Smith character and Merrick Garland gonna come outta their comas and announce the indictment of your favorite ex-president? Last month you told me it was gonna be …
MARCH 22, 2023 – During my years working inside a large financial institution, we were subjected to a regular onslaught of new and improved terms that people slung around mostly to gain acceptance among other people doing likewise. When I encountered the latest lingo in management meetings I wanted to stand up and scream, “Can’t …
DECEMBER 9, 2022 – By way of background, I don’t mean to cast aspersions on the nation’s high school orchestras. Readers “in the know” already know that that statement relates to “standards.” Readers not “in the know” will have to bear with me for a bit of explanation. Whereas “bands” comprise winds, brass, and percussion …
NOVEMBER 13, 2022 – Yesterday, heading out on my walk, I encountered our neighbors Kate and Dave across the alley. We hadn’t chatted in a while, so I stopped to talk. They’re smart, bright, articulate, well-informed and invariably have something worthwhile to hear. Among yesterday’s takes-away was a film recommendation: Don’t Look Up, on Netflix. …
OCTOBER 23, 2022 – (Cont.) “So what’s the offer they can’t refuse?” asked the Don. “Easy peasy. Goes like this: “FIRST: No deal except a universal deal—U.S. DOJ, New York AG, Georgia AG; all claims now existing or hereafter conjured up are covered by the deal; “SECOND: You plead guilty to as many felony counts …
OCTOBER 22, 2022 – (Cont.) “Okay. What are your recommendations?” The mad dog Don now looked scared, if the orange sweat dripping over the edge of his collar was an accurate indicator. “Simple,” I said. “You keep quiet until I get your neck out of the noose.” “But my people wanted to hang Mike Pence …
OCTOBER 21, 2022 – (Cont.) I also recalled our family’s “rescue dog”—so flawed, crazy, untrainable and destructive, we had to rescue our neighborhood by returning the dog to the rescue center. Perhaps, I thought, in the case of the mad dog now seated in front of me, I could rescue the nation by . . …
OCTOBER 20, 2022 – (Cont.) “Not to denigrate your legal teams,” I said, “but ever since Michael Cohen, you’ve been working with the wrong crew. They’re third- and fourth-stringers. Losers, especially Powell and Giuliani. To be brutally honest, sir, they all did you a massive disservice—worst lawyers ever. Weak. Every single one of them. I’m …
OCTOBER 19, 2022 – (Cont.) The rest of the flight to Fort Lauderdale put me to sleep. In a dream, the Don was wearing a cheap, plastic, Halloween mask of Mike. The first thing the Don-disguised-as-Mike asked me was, “How many barroom brawls have you been in?” I woke with a start, shortly before our …
OCTOBER 18, 2022 – (Cont.) “[Mike],” I said. “I can win your goddamn case, but so far, you’re losing it. You’ve got to stop your notes and whispering. You’ve got to—got to—think of the table in there as a poker table. The judge and jurors are watching you, and trust me, you ain’t a pretty …
OCTOBER 17, 2022 – (Cont.) Later, when I appeared at Mike’s office to begin prepping him for trial, he asked how many “barroom brawls” I’d been in. I assumed he was asking figuratively, but when I started giving an account of my courtroom record, Mike cut in. “No, no, no,” he said. “I mean actual …
OCTOBER 16, 2022 – (Cont.) During the early morning flight, I did three things to prepare for my meeting: 1. Read The Art of the Deal; 2. Ordered two whiskey sours; and 3. While consuming the whiskey sours, reflected on instructive experiences representing my most challenging clients over the years, especially the one who was …
OCTOBER 15, 2022 – (Cont.) “What’s your rate and retainer?” “Nine ninety-five an hour plus expenses. I’ll need 250,000 to get started.” “Two fifty?” asked Snipperskapper, his voice dropping off. “That’s pretty rich.” “So is your boss,” I said. “Or at least that’s what he’d have us believe.” “I’m not sure 250’s gonna work.” “Sure …
OCTOBER 14, 2022 – Ever since I was a young kid, I’ve lived half my waking hours in imagined reality, as oxymoronic as that might seem. Today, I easily stepped into my “pretend world.” The prompt was pundit chatter over yesterday’s screening of The Godfather—and the Don’s rambling, unedited, 14-page rant-critique of the show. In …
AUGUST 9, 2022 – Six months ago, the big news was Russia’s unprovoked invasion of Ukraine. Wall-to-wall coverage of the ensuing crimes against humanity riveted our eyes, ears, hearts, and minds 24/7 . . . until . . . the shoot-up of the store in Buffalo, followed soon thereafter by the mind-numbing, heart-splitting murder of …
JULY 17, 2022 – Here in the Northwoods, life used to be far more primitive at our family’s summer cabin. There was no phone, and our grandmother cooked up a storm on a wood-burning stove. A hand-pump outside the cabin provided water for drinking, cooking, and washing. With a bar of soap, you bathed in …
DECEMBER 15, 2021 – No “unified theory” exists for explaining the contradictions that define humanity. And yet . . . maybe a central truth resides within our species. I’ve always been a true believer in Santa Claus, and I’m scandalized by people who would punch him in the face. Today’s issue of The New York …
DECEMBER 7, 2021 – Veterans Day was originally “Armistice Day,” marking the end of the “Great War for Civilization” (I kid you not—that’s what the victors dubbed it, despite the four years of criminal slaughter—all sides—of the men of a whole generation)—at the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month of 1918. …
OCTOBER 19, 2021 – Yesterday I cheated and read some news. Worse yet, I read political news. I did not listen to my inner coach. I did not “Just say ‘no’ to nonsense.” The more I read, however, the happier I became. (Maybe exposure to news isn’t as bad for one’s mental health as I’d …
OCTOBER 13, 2021 – While driving across rural Wisconsin Monday, I saw an enormous sign that screamed, “F_ _ _ BIDEN.” The blue background, white lettering, and big white stars on the sides mimicked “[YOU-KNOW-WHO]/PENCE” and “YOU-KNOW-WHO]/2020” signs on display during last year’s presidential campaign and “YOU-KNOW-WHO]/2024” signs during this year’s “stop the steal” effort. …
AUGUST 19, 2021 – I never, ever thought I’d say, “Make America Great Again!” Whether I’ll don a red “MAGA” cap remains to be seen, but having learned never to say, “never” . . . “Really?!” you say. Really. With great nostalgia I recall when every kid at school was given a Mantoux test for …
AUGUST 16, 2021 – Now that we’ve arrived home safely from a 2,900-mile road trip, I can write about silent road rage: hyper-speed. I’ve driven and ridden on enough byways the world over to know that America has no monopoly on crazy driving. No one who survives a bus or taxi ride in Egypt or …
JUNE 17, 2021 – On Tuesday, FoxNews “personalities” excoriated Biden for being “weak on Russia.” Huh? Rewind the tape and watch You-Know-Who reveal his weakness. If ever there was a time to cringe, all bells rang when the Dolt-in-Chief said (in so many words) in Helsinki, “My people tell me Russia did bad things, so …
MARCH 24, 2021 – As I read about the latest shootings in Atlanta and Boulder, I’m thinking it’s time for a change; time to modernize our national emblem. I speak of the proud bald eagle that forms the official seal of the United States of America. What’s with the arrows in the claws of that …