Original anecdotes, commentary, rumination, and occasional pontification.
JANUARY 17, 2022 – As a photography hobbyist, I target scenes. As a cancer patient, I’m targeted by new perspectives. On Saturday evening, the film, A Hidden Life, 2019 masterpiece by American filmmaker Terrance Malick (Amazon Prime)—struck the bull’s eye. It probes as deeply as a Mahler symphony and explores the soul as far as …
JANUARY 16, 2022 – Another direct lesson of serious disease is how it affects my response to “the news.” Overcrowded ERs overshadow the prospect of Putin invading Ukraine; revised CDC recommendations on masking supersedes the growing, apparent rivalry between Governor DeSantis and You-Know-Who for the 2024 Republican Presidential Nomination; bare grocery shelves because of Covid-related …
JANUARY 15, 2022 – Yesterday on the snowy return drive from the hospital—blood draws and a “long shot” (actual, not figurative) injection—my wife said I must “toughen up.” I took no offense. After all, she’s my willing and able ride to treatment. For how many people in this world is “ride to [nearby world class] …
JANUARY 14, 2022 – Our DNA evolved to accommodate “fight” when our ancestors dropped from the trees of Africa. The word still describes a central element of our personalities—individual and societal. “Fight,” some argue, is as essential to our survival as is “flight.” I harbor hope, however, that we’ll evolve enough socially and emotionally to …
JANUARY 13, 2022 – Yesterday, anxieties developed sharp edges, and the barometer of my physical condition—a one-mile walk—left me sore and tired. Yet, countering these setbacks were turns of encouragement—reminders that what falls down bounces up. Often the harder the fall, the higher the bounce. (Can we hope as much for the country we share?) …
JANUARY 12 2022 – Yesterday, I commenced my treatment—amidst a national health crisis. As angels flocked to my case, I recalled what a close physician-friend had told me the night before: my (vast) “cheering section” will eventually, understandably “move on” with their own lives, concerns, challenges. My friend’s realistic wisdom inspired a deeper examination of …
JANUARY 11, 2022 – Today I begin a marathon for which I haven’t trained because I hadn’t anticipated that I’d be forced to run it. Only vicariously do I know its route and perils, its challenges and topography. “Back in the day,” as it is said, I ran actual marathons. They were made for a …
JANUARY 10, 2022 – Once upon a time a long, long time ago, as a very young kid I stood next to my grandparents on a marina pier in Old Saybrook, at the mouth of the Connecticut River. I remember watching two guys in a dinghy loaded with enough food and supplies to last a …
JANUARY 9, 2022 – Friday evening, dear friends called. Together they’re a tour de force in innumerable cultural, intellectual, and philanthropic corners of the Twin Cities—and far beyond. They’ve also weathered personal challenges that would cause lesser souls to fold. They’re a phoenix pair, who’ve squeezed more from life than life knew it possessed. This …
JANUARY 8, 2022 – Friday night I awoke from troubled sleep. In the heart of darkness, thoughts unleashed my fears and agitated my moorings. In contempt of this disturbance, I summoned an imaginary flock of sheep and sent them one-by-one over a New England stone fence. This imagery soon went awry, however, when the sheep …
JANUARY 7, 2022 – The imagination of an award-winning filmmaker couldn’t have anticipated yesterday’s centerpiece. The bone marrow biopsy procedure had been described to me previously, and I’d developed three strategies for the ordeal. Foremost was focus on the mountain of good will created by family and friends. Second was music—of my choosing, and I …
JANUARY 6, 2022 – In his later years, my father, who loved music as much as any human being could, was fond of quoting Charles Munch, who said, “Music expresses the inexpressible.” Dad’s frequent description of music this way revealed much about his emotional depth, because he was actually supremely gifted at expressing himself in …
JANUARY 5, 2022 – I stand at the gate, boarding pass in hand, waiting for my journey to begin—to “Lab,” “Bone Marrow Biopsy,” “Doctor,” and “City of Drugs.” It’s no vacation trip. My well-wishers are as numerous as they are supportive of my objective: survival. They’re angels, all. But I also see them as . …
JANUARY 4, 2022 – Twelve days ago I was convicted of a capital crime in a foreign land. I’m innocent (I swear!), but from this verdict there’s no appeal—not in the province of multiple myeloma inside the People’s Democratic Republic of Cancer. Yesterday, after the pre-sentencing investigation, I stood before the “judge,” Dr. Bhaskar Kolla. …
JANUARY 3, 2022 – We’ve all seen an old war movie in which the hero—a pilot or soldier anticipating battle—caresses a small, black-and-white snapshot of a loved one. It’s always a single photo; never a three-inch-thick photo album, let alone a modern flash drive with 10,000 images. Likewise with writing: stuffed into the pilot’s/soldier’s uniform …
JANUARY 2, 2022 – While the mercury flirted with zero-Fahrenheit outside, I binged-watched the eight-episode PBS Masterpiece Theater production, Atlantic Crossing. My executive summary: it’s a . . . masterpiece. The story’s about the Norwegian Royals (King Haakon VII, (a widower after Queen Maud died in 1938); Crown Prince Olav and Crown Princess Märtha (Olav’s …
JANUARY 1, 2022 – For me, turning the calendar page this time around contrasts markedly with all prior turns of the annual page. Rather than jotting down the usual wishful resolutions to “do better” in a host of strivings, I’m staggering and stumbling under the load of heavy baggage. Perhaps I’ve been hauling it around …
DECEMBER 31, 2021 – As the world crawls to the finish of 2021, Covid continues its rampage. For two years I’ve held strong opinions about individual and governmental responses to the ongoing crisis. Recently, however, non-scientific facts and observations of human nature have forced me to reassess. Foremost among “non-scientific facts” and “observations” is sharpened …
DECEMBER 30, 2021 – Lately, for mental health, I’ve pursued various diversions. The motivation isn’t vacant distraction but a compulsive search for perspective. Trouble is, I’m not sure if “perspective” means getting or giving. At my current juncture in the journey of finite existence, do I strive to impart perspective to loved ones or do …
DECEMBER 29, 2021 – For three evenings of distraction this week, my wife and I watched The Beatles: Get Back. It’s a recently released film about the lead-up to the Beatles’ 1970 album, Let it Be and their last public performance—a 42-minute show on January 30, 1969 atop their Apple Corps headquarters in central London. …
DECEMBER 28, 2021 – Yesterday, I’d just pulled some old journals off my shelf, when friend/neighbor, “K.O.” Paulson stopped by to check on me. I’ve posted about him before—a smart, thoroughly amusing, tough-talking, literary savant/retired honors English teacher, and former baseball/basketball coach, who scouts locally for the Twins. I gave K.O. the current, unvarnished low-down—to …
DECEMBER 27, 2021 – Yesterday, dear friends (fully boostered, with recent negative Covid test results) dropped by for an extended visit. More than a year had passed since our last in-person encounter. For three hours we caught up on family life and talked some about the state of the world. I’ve known Liz since she …
DECEMBER 26, 2021 – Yesterday, my wife and I “celebrated” Christmas alone, with limited, indirect contact with the outside world. After a delectable mid-afternoon dinner of ham, scalloped potatoes, Brussels sprouts, and rolls with butter and honey, I continued my “sift and sort” operation focused on lots of ancient paperwork; all part of the bigger …
DECEMBER 25, 2021 – My mother, who exercised her faith . . . religiously . . . once said, “It’s all in the hymns. All you need to know is in the hymns.” It was an off-handed remark expressed in the moment, not some serious conclusion resulting from a long course of study. Doubtless she …
DECEMBER 24, 2021 – On this Christmas Eve I write with greater urgency than ever before. If great theoretical physicists and mathematicians play with the science of time and great philosophers and theologians wrestle with a metaphysical construct of time, each of us must face the hard-edged reality of time. A cosmic force beyond our …