Original anecdotes, commentary, rumination, and occasional pontification.
AUGUST 4, 2022 – (Cont.) If the police had been summoned to Matheny’s, it wouldn’t have been Jenny’s first run-in with cops. When Jenny was four, Mother had enrolled her in Mrs. Ward’s tap-dance academy in an old mansion a block south of the post office in downtown Anoka. The main thing Jenny learned in …
AUGUST 3, 2022 – I have three sisters, two older, one younger. The older ones have always been at the head of the class—any class in which they’ve found themselves. When we were growing up, each was my gold standard for brains, talent, and deportment. As far as I knew and observed, they always toed …
FEBRUARY 13, 2022 – For this, my 1,000th post, I’m taking a break from India to return to immediate concerns. Six weeks have passed since my first session with Dr. Kolla, my oncologist, who, as life turns, was born, reared, and educated in . . . India. I’d choose none other than this extraordinary doctor …
DECEMBER 17, 2021 – As I lie low with The Blasted Cough, and no holiday visitors are expected at our hearth this year, we’re not buying a cut-from-the earth Christmas tree. What’s ironic is that by my latest count, we have 17 “pretend” Christmas trees on display—not including the flat, felt tree (which our granddaughter …
NOVEMBER 25, 2021 – Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. First, its centerpiece is culinary abundance, and at the center of the centerpiece is a stuffed turkey, my favorite land-based food. Second, I enjoy the story of the Original Feast, which occurred exactly four centuries ago this year. However mythicized and romanticized, it’s a …
NOVEMBER 21, 2021 – I’ve mentioned him before—our neighbor, “K.O.,” exactly my age, a retired high school honors English teacher, a Twins scout, and a former Republican. Yesterday he joined me on my walk to “Little Switzerland,” where we hiked hills for the equivalent of 41 flights of stairs. Every encounter with K.O. is filled …
OCTOBER 14, 2021 – “Supply chain” problems plague us. Reasons abound for shortages of parts, materials, dock space, truck drivers, and other disruptions. Recently, however, my wife the discriminating consumer, stumbled upon a simple solution: stop junking up the system with . . . “crap.” Her revelation led us to hysterical laughter, but this required …
OCTOBER 13, 2021 – While driving across rural Wisconsin Monday, I saw an enormous sign that screamed, “F_ _ _ BIDEN.” The blue background, white lettering, and big white stars on the sides mimicked “[YOU-KNOW-WHO]/PENCE” and “YOU-KNOW-WHO]/2020” signs on display during last year’s presidential campaign and “YOU-KNOW-WHO]/2024” signs during this year’s “stop the steal” effort. …
SEPTEMBER 30, 2021 – Yesterday I talked about celestial majesty—the beauty of the Milky Way, the wonder of the cosmos. Today, the subject is . . . your anus. I’m joking, of course. I meant “urine—us,” which is how astronomers pronounce the problematic name of the seventh planet of our solar system, spelled U-r-a-n-u-s. I’ve …
SEPTEMBER 26, 2021 – Little imagination is required to grasp the paradox of AI: machines ruling their makers. Of course, this condition existed long before Bill Gates invented the computer or Al Gore, the internet. Yet, while visiting our son Byron and his wife, Mylène, last month, my wife and I watched with amusement, the …
SEPTEMBER 24, 2021 – To divert myself from worldly woes, I leap to the future when all of earth is scorched earth and “alien” visitors search for evidence that water once flowed here. Then I return to the present for a fresh look at . . . worldly woes. Take, for example, packaging. Why should …
SEPTEMBER 17, 2021 – Recently I had a singularly strange experience, one that try as I might, I’ll never be able to replicate. It occurred late one afternoon while I was alone in our living room, surrounded by familiar objects: rug, furniture, decorative items adorning the mantel above the fireplace, and various pictures and wall-hangings …
SEPTEMBER 10, 2021 – Recently, in the outdoor seating of Boca Rica, a local Mexican restaurant popular for its authenticity, I heard a remarkable story. While ordering, I wore a bright blue, cloth mask bearing the slogan, Make America Intelligent Again. I’d been invited to lunch by W______, a retired banking client of mine, with …
AUGUST 10 2021 – Yesterday my sisters and I gathered for one more long visit together before dispersing to our respective “corners.” The last time we’d assembled like this was a full four years ago. With my wife and a brother-in-law as patient observers, my sisters and I sat on the veranda of the place …
AUGUST 9, 2021 – My three sisters gathered in Lyme, CT over the weekend. What drew them here was the 75th annual meeting of the Huntley National Association. I attended vicariously thanks to my sisters’ vivid descriptions. Back in time, our grandfather, whose mother was a Huntley, was very active in the association. He paid …
JUNE 24,2021 – (Cont.) “Once you pay,” Steve said, “go directly to DPS (department of public safety) four blocks away, and for 20 bucks, your son can get his license re-instated immediately.” I wondered what Steve knew about the bloody history of the Committee of Public Safety during the French Revolution. Instead, I thanked Steve—too …
JUNE 23, 2021 – Sunday evening, our son Cory (with five-and-a-half-year-old daughter) was pulled over. No one except the cop knows why she ran Cory’s plates, but in the process she learned that his license had been suspended three months ago. Cory called me to say, “I have a slight emergency.” Based on the prospect …
JUNE 9, 2021 – Barking neighborhood dogs used to annoy me. Recently, however, I quit barking—to avoid another manifestation of “old.” A cranky geezer is as appealing as “grampaw” clearing extra phlegm in the morning. Time to act 10 years younger than I am. This attitude-adjustment renders me almost amiable. Got a rescue dog that …
MAY 22, 2021 – Yesterday, I heard a report that cash is becoming obsolete. Not surprisingly, the pandemic accelerated the trend. The report mentioned that many retail businesses already don’t accept . . . cash. I wondered about the illicit gun and drug business, not to mention “cash” in exchange for that handyman working out …
MAY 2, 2021 – Yesterday brought the annual spring plague of gnats at the Red Cabin—not tiny gnats but mosquito-pretenders, with long fuselages, and noisy propellers. In swarm formations, they sound like the entire Luftwaffe re-enacting the Battle for Britain. These ugly critters assemble in hovering clouds, first next to the bench swing where you’d …
MARCH 29, 2021 – In the spring of second grade my teacher told us to look out for signs that the interminable winter wasn’t so. Every Monday, first thing, she’d ask us to cite the most recent harbingers of a more hospitable season. There were the usual things—disappearing snowbanks, green blades of grass, a robin …
MARCH 16, 2021 – Hanneys were unusual for our insular town, which straddled the Rum River where it debouches into the Upper Mississippi. Father Hanney spoke with a Welsh accent, and his wife Nell talked with an English one, though I couldn’t distinguish between the two accents. To my young American ears, the older Hanneys …
MARCH 10, 2021 – Where I grew up, sometimes you’d run into a kid who went to Mt. Olivet Missouri Synod Lutheran Church, hidden on our side of town; the Baptist Church, standing across from Monty’s Pure Oil at Main and Ferry; the Congregational Church, sitting modestly behind Anoka Junior High School; the understated Methodist …
FEBRUARY 26, 2021 – I remember the story well—how Mother backed her car into a lamp post in the parking lot next to the church, bashing the bumper and trunk lid. What impressed me most, however, was Dad’s sense of humor about it. After all, Mother had managed to back into the same lamp post …
FEBRUARY 18, 2021 – Last Monday I wiped out on skis. The issue was “boilerplate,” as my uncle used to call a patch of glare ice on a ski slope. Plus, I was on x-c skis—without sharp, metal, defensive edges. It was my first fall of the season—63 days, so far. As my left hip …