NOVEMBER 7, 2022 – This evening I ventured out to see the full moon emerge from its wanderings in the exotic East. Here at the Red Cabin, which faces the lake due south, deep woods obstruct the sky east and north. To catch the moonrise, I’d have to follow a woodland trail to a promontory …
DAY 71: THE SOUL REVEALED UNTO ITSELF
NOVEMBER 2, 2022 – Today while bud-capping white pine trees in the “tree garden,” I spotted a four-year old seedling nestled up against an old, pin oak tree. The red leaves of a raspberry plant, backlit by Apollo’s chariot, dangled over the pine. A nice picture, I thought. Just as I reached for my iPhone, …
A NOT-SO-METAPHYSICAL QUESTION (IT TURNS OUT)
OCTOBER 9, 2022 – As human knowledge and experience advance, so does our perspective grow sharper via ever more powerful microscopic and and telescopic lenses. As I walk in the great outdoors, my eyes unaided by lenses other than what nature has thus far fashioned for our species (and corrected by eyewear), I wonder what …
WHAT A LUCKY SOUL AM I
OCTOBER 8, 2022 – This morning I drove to the Red Cabin, hoping I’d catch the fall foliage at its peak. The scenery along the way confirmed I had. A thousand times I wanted to stop to take a picture—or two or 10—but if I did so once, I’d likely do so repeatedly and wouldn’t …
STANDING TALL
OCTOBER 7, 2022 – Today while hiking through our local Garden of Eden, I read some of the tags that the park service had nailed to a number of big, beautiful trees. Each tag identified the species, its characteristics, and in almost every case, what the tree was “good for . . .” These descriptions …
SEEING PEOPLE AS TREES
OCTOBER 6, 2022 – Lately, several people have recommended that I read The Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben. These recommendations supplement the many earlier endorsements I’d received over the years from friends. In fact, I’ve read the book, and found it important enough to add to my “re-read” stack. If you haven’t read …
AN UNEXPECTED ENCOUNTER
OCTOBER 5, 2022 – As followers of this blog know, I was once a compulsive runner. Or more precisely, I was a compulsive “run away,” who, to escape self-doubt, lived to eat, read (about training), and run. Every day of law school, I ran a loop along both sides of the Mississippi River from the …
DAY 41: A WALK IN THE PARK AND THOUGHTS IT INSPIRED
OCTOBER 3, 2022 – Today marks six weeks from “chemo-blast-off.” To celebrate, I took a long walk in nearby Como Park. As I admired the many trees that have become my friends, I contemplated the generations of park visitors who’ve also laid eyes on those oak, pine, maple, locust, chestnut, and cottonwood (to name a …
DAY 40: BEAUTY BEHELD
OCTOBER 2, 2022 – What a turnaround—so to speak—a single rotation of the earth can make. Today, the morning sun said to me, “Smile, you fool, and I’ll smile with you!” So I did, and Helios kept his word. Feeling much better physically—and therefore, mentally—I took advantage of the fine weather and went for a …
“THE MORE THINGS CHANGE, THE MORE THEY STAY THE SAME”
SEPTEMBER 22, 2022 – After crossing a whitewater stream, today I reached the opposite, “30-day” shore. My feet are wet, but I’m now standing and admiring terra firma. In this achievement I find relief. The hiking path ahead follows the winding brook, yet I’m confident my course will remain on solid ground. I turn, then, …
POWER DOWN, POWER UP
SEPTEMBER 20, 2022 – Soon after I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma last January, I started regular online sessions with an excellent therapist. In today’s session I described recent anxieties: e.g. What if Wednesday brings such severe conditions that piloting the boat to the landing two miles away turns unduly treacherous? What if the new …
DAY 26.2: THE ALL-IMPORTANT 385 YARDS
SEPTEMBER 19, 2022 – (Cont.) At this late hour, I feel a bit like one of the running marathon finishers holding onto my silver space blanket with one hand and a cup of water in the other, as I stagger toward the heap of plastic bags with my race number on the outside and a …
DAY 26: CLEARING THE TREETOPS
SEPTEMBER 18, 2022 – (Cont.) Today marks Day 26 of my bone marrow transplant “marathon,” but as Yogi Berra famously said, “The game ain’t over ’til it’s over,” and to remind my readers, a marathon is 26.2 miles long. Accordingly, the finish line is an all-critical 385 yards—some 300 strides—beyond the 26-mile marker. As I …
MILE 25: ROUNDING THE CURVE
SEPTEMBER 17, 2022 – (Cont.) Today marks the 25th mile of my bone marrow transplant marathon. As a professor said at the outset of my second year of law school, “Now you’ll finish whether you like it or not.” His point to us students was that we now had such a vested interest in our …
DAY 24, MILE 24, AND A SUBLIMINAL “WORKOUT”
SEPTEMBER 16, 2022 – (Cont.) Late in my dream sequence last night appeared a garbage container. Yes, a large, plastic garbage container like the ones that line our alley on garbage pick-up day, which happened to be today. The refuse receptacle was the sole object of the dream, and it was a veritable wreck. A …
DAY 23: THE MATTERHORN AND MILE 23
SEPTEMBER 15, 2022 – Blogger’s note: Photo credit to my cousin, Russ Gordon, who, coincidentally, sent me the image early this morning–from Zermatt, Switzerland. (Cont.) Today I hiked a mile to my scale model of Switzerland—Como Golf Course in St. Paul—and from the summit of “St. Moritz,” admired the distinctive profile of the “Matterhorn.” It was …
DAY 22: A PATCH OF SUNSHINE
SEPTEMBER 14, 2022 – (Cont.) This morning I entered a room of our house and discovered a patch of sunshine on the old, oak floor. This unexpected burst of light lifted my spirits and renewed my energy. In the reigning silence I heard my father’s voice. “The sun is the source of all life on …
DAY 21: MALAISE CUT SHORT
SEPTEMBER 13, 2022 – (Cont.) The dream last night must’ve been triggered by yesterday’s appointment with Dr. O’Leary, “BMT doc of the month.” I’d met the good doctor on the day of my “chemo-blast.” Back then, Dr. O’Leary, a bit of a killjoy though a life-long downhill skier, had told me I’d have to give …
DAY 20: PRECISION VS. PERFECTION
SEPTEMBER 12, 2022 – (Cont.) Given the number of blood test results I’ve viewed recently, I’ve gained a new appreciation for precision. Hemoglobin of 10.0, compared to 9.5 the day before, for example; and platelets of 147 vs. 98. Or the nurse’s expertise in clearing my port line, completing the task faster than I can …
DAY 19: BEAUTY OF PLACE
SEPTEMBER 11, 2022 – (Cont.) After nurse Laura read my numbers from this morning’s lab report, she extended her hand and said, “Congratulations!” (“Don’t worry,” she added. “I’ve already washed my hands 5,000 times today, but there are plenty of hand sanitizers on your way out.”) She was one of the veterans of the BMT …
DAY 18: RUBATO
SEPTEMBER 10, 2022 – (Cont.) On the “work-up” days that preceded my BMT (bone marrow transplant), I noticed patients in various stages of their own procedures. Some of the people looked drawn and frail, as they sat in clinic wheelchairs, waiting for their appointments—blood draws, infusions, provider consults. I worried that one day soon, I’d …
DAY 17: A DAY OF REFLECTION
SEPTEMBER 9, 2022 – (Cont.) We had to arise at an ungodly hour again this morning for my appointment, but the effort was worth it: my white blood cell count had rocketed to 5.5 and with it, the all-important neutrophil level had blasted all the way to 3.5 from yesterday’s 2.2. For a nurse, I …
DAY 16: REIGN OF HOPE
SEPTEMBER 8, 2022 – (Cont.) Today’s 6:15 a.m. appointment at the “combination clinic – positive reinforcement center” revealed a jump in my hemoglobin to 9.3 (two days ago it stood at 6.9), to which the P.A. remarked, “Are you trying to show off?” The all-important neutrophil count was up to 2.2 (from 1.9, yesterday; zero …
DAY 15 OF OH, SO MANY MORE!
SEPTEMBER 7, 2022 – (Cont.) For me, the past 24 hours have been packed with deep emotion. When I put my head down on my hospital bed at 11:00 last night, I was filled with amorphous trepidation, the Ativan taken a half hour earlier having had little effect. My sleep through the night, interrupted by …
DAY 14 OF THE MARATHON, AND THE FINISH LINE GETS MOVED
SEPTEMBER 6, 2022 – (Cont.) At the outset of my current expedition, marathon, trip across the ocean, I’d formed four mental linear graphs by which to mark my progress: 14-days; 20-days; 30-days; and 100-days. Others exist beyond, of course—180-days, a year out, two years, and so on. But for now, in the midst of the …