Original anecdotes, commentary, rumination, and occasional pontification.
SEPTEMBER 10, 2022 – (Cont.) On the “work-up” days that preceded my BMT (bone marrow transplant), I noticed patients in various stages of their own procedures. Some of the people looked drawn and frail, as they sat in clinic wheelchairs, waiting for their appointments—blood draws, infusions, provider consults. I worried that one day soon, I’d …
SEPTEMBER 9, 2022 – (Cont.) We had to arise at an ungodly hour again this morning for my appointment, but the effort was worth it: my white blood cell count had rocketed to 5.5 and with it, the all-important neutrophil level had blasted all the way to 3.5 from yesterday’s 2.2. For a nurse, I …
SEPTEMBER 8, 2022 – (Cont.) Today’s 6:15 a.m. appointment at the “combination clinic – positive reinforcement center” revealed a jump in my hemoglobin to 9.3 (two days ago it stood at 6.9), to which the P.A. remarked, “Are you trying to show off?” The all-important neutrophil count was up to 2.2 (from 1.9, yesterday; zero …
SEPTEMBER 7, 2022 – (Cont.) For me, the past 24 hours have been packed with deep emotion. When I put my head down on my hospital bed at 11:00 last night, I was filled with amorphous trepidation, the Ativan taken a half hour earlier having had little effect. My sleep through the night, interrupted by …
SEPTEMBER 6, 2022 – (Cont.) At the outset of my current expedition, marathon, trip across the ocean, I’d formed four mental linear graphs by which to mark my progress: 14-days; 20-days; 30-days; and 100-days. Others exist beyond, of course—180-days, a year out, two years, and so on. But for now, in the midst of the …
SEPTEMBER 5, 2022 – (Cont.) “My rash is so gross,” I said to Kristie, my nurse again today, “I can’t stand to see myself in the mirror.” “As a science person,” she said, “I don’t see gross. I see science.” And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what distinguishes me, the “grossed-out” patient, from these incredible …
SEPTEMBER 4, 2022 – (Cont.) When my mother got older she became obsessed (apparently) about her kids being rash. “Don’t do anything rash,” was a regular part of her farewell after every visit at “the home.” I won’t speak for my generally well-behaved sisters, but I’ll readily acknowledge that at an earlier stage of life, …
SEPTEMBER 3, 2022 – (Cont.) It’s not what I’d pictured. The hospital room, I mean, where most likely I’ll be until Tuesday—Day 14. It’s a luxury suite with a commanding view of Mississippi River, as it wends its way between Minneapolis and St. Paul. If I’m still a little seasick, I’m in the best care …
SEPTEMBER 2, 2022 – (Cont.) Time. In any test of endurance, time is front and center. Of all aspects of our existence, time is what best defines us. How do we use it or waste it? How do we embrace its rewards, and how do we respond to its ravages? How do we cope with …
SEPTEMBER 1, 2022 – (Cont.) When one is far out at sea, beyond the reference points of land, each day mimics another, except for the clockwork and declination of sun, moon and stars. This morning I slipped out of bed extra early for a 6:15 appointment with the Angels of the University. In the glow …
AUGUST 31, 2022 – (Cont.) Day 8. Like a sea of porpoises, arching in and out of the water, waves rise, crest, and fall relentlessly toward their destination beyond the horizon. Day and night, they carry my plucky little vessel forward across the boundless sea. Now, in the moment, with the sun in my face …
AUGUST 30, 2022 – (Cont.) “Day 7” is feeling like mile 13 of a marathon. I’m still flying along, on pace, but the pavement’s beginning to burn underfoot. I’ll spare the reader the details I shared at today’s appointment—“It’s all good!” as it is said—but not qu-i-i-i-te as good as it was the previous day, …
AUGUST 29, 2022 – (Cont.) Day Six. Yesterday’s appointment was another visit to the “MERCY CLINIC,” rather abandoned on the weekend, except for skeletal staff to administer to transplant patients like me—a two-day patient, a three-day, a six-day patient, I was informed. The wait was long enough for me to log a 10-minute walk up …
AUGUST 27, 2022 – (Cont.) Today at noon, I reach “Day 4” after transplant—better than halfway to the halfway mark toward “Day 14”— the day by which the engraftment of stem cells reaches a stage where transplant patients begin to feel better. That leaves 10 days in between. Ten. These are the really tough miles …
AUGUST 26, 2022 – (Cont.) Nurse John greeted me cheerfully at my 7:30 appointment yesterday. His mask concealed his face below his eyes, but the eyes and voice revealed unmistakable kindness and intelligence. His calm, friendly demeanor put me at immediate ease. Though definitely a “people person,” he also loved talking science—specifically, the science of …
AUGUST 24, 2022 – Blogger’s note: Being under the gun to make it on time to my daily appointment at the “Center,” I haven’t proofed this post. (Cont.) Yesterday I learned another lesson in hope for humanity. Before the transplant procedure yesterday afternoon, I hadn’t known the somewhat ritualistic significance that the medical team assigns …
AUGUST 23, 2022 – Blogger’s note: Wife is a sweetie. And I apologize for blowing way past my self-imposed daily word quota (of yore). (Cont.) Late Sunday evening my wife and I were still in the throes of preparing our abode for “cancer con”—short for “convalescence from the effects of cancer chemo treatment.” She had …
AUGUST 22, 2022 – (Cont.) Yesterday afternoon I joked to some friends that “I like going to the U of MN Cancer Center so much, I even go there on Saturday and Sunday.” Joking aside, this past weekend’s sessions, each for an infusion line flush, were brief and uneventful, except for the discovery that my …
AUGUST 21, 2022 – (Cont.) Whenever I enter the U of MN Cancer Center, I’m awed by a number of things, such as the cheerfulness of the mask-monitor-greeters and check-in staff, and . . . who thought of placing a high-end player piano at the top of the “grand stairway” leading from the lobby to …
AUGUST 20, 2022 – Blogger’s note: The gracious reader will accept my apologies for the poor self-editing of yesterday’s post. The explanation (versus excuse) is that our hyper-imaginative granddaughter was under our day-long charge. Among her plays, musical performances, story-telling, painting sessions, and backyard expeditions, all of which required audience/spectator participation, I assembled very few …
AUGUST 19, 2022 – (Cont.) Yesterday, calm prevailed in my own little world, however much “wheels-off” was the theme in the larger picture. Occupying the tranquility, but not disturbing it, were numerous exchanges with people who influence my outlook on life and humanity. Caught up in my own hopes, fears, and focus, I’m pulled away to broader …
AUGUST 18, 2022 – (Cont.) By day’s end yesterday, I was an A+ patient. The stem cell harvest produced a bumper crop—over 9 million cells, topping the goal by a million. My sister Jenny calls me a millionaire. Now the orders are in for the next few days: Covid test today—good thing, having woken up …
AUGUST 17, 2022 – (Cont.) I once had a friend, a close friend, a work colleague, whom I met my first day on the job as the lucky recruit to manage the “work-out” (deals gone bad) division of bank’s corporate trust department. The guy who hired me, it turned out, would later be escorted ignobly …
AUGUST 15, 2022 – (Cont.) Last night I slept like a rock, not because I was exhausted by the day’s interaction with the medical profession, but because of my complete confidence in the care that has been afforded me. Yesterday’s squad—Bridgette, Amber, Kaitlin, May, Annie, Randall, Bella, Laura, Angela, Mariah, plus others whose names went …
AUGUST 15, 2022 – (Cont.) “Is it okay if he drives himself to the appointment this afternoon?” my wife asked the physician’s assistant. “Sure,” said the PA. “Well, actually,” I said, “because of the sedation this morning, I’ve been instructed not to drive or make any important decisions for the rest of the day.” The …