Original anecdotes, commentary, rumination, and occasional pontification.
DECEMBER 16, 2022 – Today, shortly after an hour-long ski workout in ideal conditions, I received a call from the coordinating nurse of a study in which I’d agreed to participate. The study is designed to test the efficacy of a combination of two medications in post-stem cell transplant, multiple myeloma patients. One of the …
DECEMBER 1, 2022 – The days leading up to the transplant passed all too quickly. I was feeling great, but being very much a medical wimp, I dreaded the procedure that loomed ever closer and feared what could be an excruciatingly slow, protracted and unpleasant recovery process. Why couldn’t time stop where I was? More …
NOVEMBER 16, 2022 – Today, after many weeks of embracing the delights of life—yes, LIFE in all its beauty and brilliance—following my autologous stem cell transplant in August, I had to spend two hours on the phone with a coordinator of a clinical study. The call reminded me that though I’m out of “cancer jail,” …
NOVEMBER 15, 2022 – Today I experienced a bad case of . . . myself. The back story: Upon successful emergence from my bone marrow stem cell transplant, I was prescribed fluorescent-yellow medicine as palatable as transmission fluid. The intended purpose of the daily dose of this awful stuff was to prevent bacterial pneumonia. When …
NOVEMBER 5, 2022 – Blogger’s note: Given the subject matter of this (lengthy) post, I found it difficult to split it into installments. I think you’ll understand why, assuming you read the post in its entirety. I hadn’t touched my fiddle in a week, and before that, not in a month; maybe that’s why …
NOVEMBER 3, 2022 – This morning at daybreak while I was on my pre-breakfast, woodland walk, my good friend Linda Hoeschler called. It’d been a while since we’d talked. By way of my 10/10-12/2022 posts, however, she was aware of my encounter with “the stick.” She admonished me to be careful while up here in …
NOVEMBER 2, 2022 – Today while bud-capping white pine trees in the “tree garden,” I spotted a four-year old seedling nestled up against an old, pin oak tree. The red leaves of a raspberry plant, backlit by Apollo’s chariot, dangled over the pine. A nice picture, I thought. Just as I reached for my iPhone, …
OCTOBER 29, 2022 – Today I spent all day surrounded by nature in all its glory. The experience was singularly restorative. As I entered the great outdoors, just before dawn, a bald eagle glided by along our shoreline—omen of a good day. The dawn seemed to continue exactly where dusk had left off yesterday: a …
(Cont.) I then took a deep breath and realized my best next step was to call one of my closest friends, Ravi Balasubrahmanyan—who just happens to be . . . a physician of the highest rank of intelligence and experience. Back in December when I’d described to Ravi my reasons for a recent (unsatisfactory) visit …
OCTOBER 11, 2022 – (Cont.) The sting was slight, but the sharp tip of the branch—green with microbes—broke the skin on the side of my right ring finger. Immediately, I recalled my BMT doc’s warning: “If you scratch yourself on some pine needles, [really bad stuff will ensue].” I gulped: A pine branch partially buried …
OCTOBER 10, 2022 – I don’t wish to tempt fate, so in telling the story about to be told—Grizzly Adams must wait another couple of days (See yesterday’s post)—I don’t want to appear dismissive of the doctor’s dire warning. At the same time, however, my reaction to yesterday’s “incident” underscores a hypochondriac’s susceptibility to medical …
OCTOBER 4, 2022 – This year I’ve developed heightened appreciation for what others do for a living—particularly in medical care and research. This morning my sharpened gratitude extended to the concrete prep work unfolding in front and back of our house. Precision in word-smithing (my principal vocational activity) is one thing, but try operating with …
OCTOBER 2, 2022 – What a turnaround—so to speak—a single rotation of the earth can make. Today, the morning sun said to me, “Smile, you fool, and I’ll smile with you!” So I did, and Helios kept his word. Feeling much better physically—and therefore, mentally—I took advantage of the fine weather and went for a …
OCTOBER 1, 2022 – When people asked me how I was doing today, I replied honestly—“Not great.” My malaise wasn’t helped when yesterday I reviewed materials pertaining to my recent stem cell transplant for treatment of multiple myeloma. This (cursory) review was part of my belated effort to organize the reams of medical paperwork that …
SEPTEMBER 26, 2022 – You’re living a life you never imagined when you look forward to your appointment with the oncologist. Such an appointment was a highlight of my day. My meeting was the good doctor’s last of his day and lasted nearly 90 minutes. I hadn’t seen him since last July—before “boot camp” (my …
SEPTEMBER 20, 2022 – Soon after I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma last January, I started regular online sessions with an excellent therapist. In today’s session I described recent anxieties: e.g. What if Wednesday brings such severe conditions that piloting the boat to the landing two miles away turns unduly treacherous? What if the new …
SEPTEMBER 19, 2022 – (Cont.) At this late hour, I feel a bit like one of the running marathon finishers holding onto my silver space blanket with one hand and a cup of water in the other, as I stagger toward the heap of plastic bags with my race number on the outside and a …
SEPTEMBER 18, 2022 – (Cont.) Today marks Day 26 of my bone marrow transplant “marathon,” but as Yogi Berra famously said, “The game ain’t over ’til it’s over,” and to remind my readers, a marathon is 26.2 miles long. Accordingly, the finish line is an all-critical 385 yards—some 300 strides—beyond the 26-mile marker. As I …
SEPTEMBER 17, 2022 – (Cont.) Today marks the 25th mile of my bone marrow transplant marathon. As a professor said at the outset of my second year of law school, “Now you’ll finish whether you like it or not.” His point to us students was that we now had such a vested interest in our …
SEPTEMBER 16, 2022 – (Cont.) Late in my dream sequence last night appeared a garbage container. Yes, a large, plastic garbage container like the ones that line our alley on garbage pick-up day, which happened to be today. The refuse receptacle was the sole object of the dream, and it was a veritable wreck. A …
SEPTEMBER 15, 2022 – Blogger’s note: Photo credit to my cousin, Russ Gordon, who, coincidentally, sent me the image early this morning–from Zermatt, Switzerland. (Cont.) Today I hiked a mile to my scale model of Switzerland—Como Golf Course in St. Paul—and from the summit of “St. Moritz,” admired the distinctive profile of the “Matterhorn.” It was …
SEPTEMBER 14, 2022 – (Cont.) This morning I entered a room of our house and discovered a patch of sunshine on the old, oak floor. This unexpected burst of light lifted my spirits and renewed my energy. In the reigning silence I heard my father’s voice. “The sun is the source of all life on …
SEPTEMBER 13, 2022 – (Cont.) The dream last night must’ve been triggered by yesterday’s appointment with Dr. O’Leary, “BMT doc of the month.” I’d met the good doctor on the day of my “chemo-blast.” Back then, Dr. O’Leary, a bit of a killjoy though a life-long downhill skier, had told me I’d have to give …
SEPTEMBER 12, 2022 – (Cont.) Given the number of blood test results I’ve viewed recently, I’ve gained a new appreciation for precision. Hemoglobin of 10.0, compared to 9.5 the day before, for example; and platelets of 147 vs. 98. Or the nurse’s expertise in clearing my port line, completing the task faster than I can …
SEPTEMBER 11, 2022 – (Cont.) After nurse Laura read my numbers from this morning’s lab report, she extended her hand and said, “Congratulations!” (“Don’t worry,” she added. “I’ve already washed my hands 5,000 times today, but there are plenty of hand sanitizers on your way out.”) She was one of the veterans of the BMT …