OCTOBER 13, 2026 – This morning my wife and I watched the first press briefing of the new White House Press Secretary, Katie Zacharia. Our reaction was a mix of disbelief and laughter, which quickly morphed into disgust. Pray tell that the American electorate is smart enough—finally—to see just how far we’ve fallen and what is on the line three weeks from today.
The event was of no greater substance than artificially colored cotton candy wrapped around an upside down recycled cardboard cone. One question was allowed by each of three plants—GoebbelsNews, BrightBart(Simpson), and The Daily Junk Mail. The centerpiece of the appearance wasn’t a Q and A in the long-standing tradition of White House press conferences. It was a wholesale, in-your-face violation of the Hatch Act[1]. But in this age wherein disinformation disseminated by social media blasts carries far more currency (albeit counterfeit) than the rule of law, yet another breach of legal and ethical norms is but a footnote for insomniacs to read and digest.
Trump’s central trait is jumping to judgment about everything and everyone based on superficial appearances. The main flaw in this modus operandi is . . . well, obvious, at least to anyone who has circulated much among humanity. As is learned in elementary school, many things are not what they appear to be, and few things are only what they appear to be. Couple Trump’s fixation on appearances with his mind-gripping grift and corruption and the outcome for America . . . looks very bad.
Or does it? Are people so blind, jaded, naïve, worn down, ambivalent, that they can’t (or refuse) to recognize Trump’s unmistakable pattern of thought and action—and the materially detrimental consequences of that pattern? Who can’t see that the likes of Bad News-Kimberly Guilfoyle are part of the pattern, not one-off aberrations? Ditto, GoebbelNews personality Pete Hegseth or . . . the latest “all show, no tell” press secretary, Katie Zacharia.
Except . . . the latest caricature-incarnation of herself was a total flop even in appearance.
The whole press conference lasted only 16 minutes. She spent the first 12 minutes issuing a vacuous campaign press release, read slavishly from a script, and addressed not to the gathered press corps or even to people eligible to vote, but to the Naked Emperor and to him alone. Perhaps her embarrassingly sycophantic appeal to her boss will serve as her tenuous defense in the criminal case under the Hatch Act: It was obviously directed at an audience of one, it didn’t rise to the level of “political activity.”
But . . . I’m getting way ahead of myself. Not until the DOJ is rebuilt and restaffed from the ground up and the top down after the 2028 election will alumni of Trump’s Circus be investigated and where appropriate, prosecuted—not in political retribution but for the sake of legal accountability.
In any event, after her 12-minute-long violation of federal law, Ms. Zacharia entertained only three questions. One—about balancing work and family—didn’t count: it was a classic softball pitch in a game of hardball policy and politics. Another was right across home plate: “Has the U.S. stopped sharing intelligence with Ukraine about Russian attacks?”—but she didn’t swing at it. “I’ll have to get back to you on that,” she said ignorantly. (She wasn’t quick, savvy or experienced enough to say, “I can’t comment on what might be classified information.”)
That left the question from GoebbelsNews (I’m paraphrasing now): “What say you about the future of my former colleague, Donald Trump, Jr.’s former fiancé, the current United States Ambassador to Greece?” Ms. Amateur Hour swung at this question and smacked a line drive to the shortstop: “We have asked Kimberly Guilfoyle to resign.” Unfortunately, that was that. No throwing the ball around the horn; no follow-up questions such as “And . . . has she [resigned]?” and “Given the allegations against her regarding pay-to-play political influence, what follow-up investigation will be conducted by the DOJ?”
And no opportunity to light a fire under the Epstein Files . . . and 100 other issues that before Trump, would’ve derailed a presidency.
After spieling a load of lard about how much her kids mean to her (if it were true, how on God’s green earth could she have accepted her current appointment?), she closed out her first press conference—under the cover that she had to join the president in his waiting helicopter to return to the campaign trail. Before she cleared the room, MSNOW was already reporting that a White House insider had wondered aloud if Zacharia would be canned in fewer than 11 days, the record to beat, set by Anthony Scaramucci, the most fleeting press secretary of Trump’s first administration.
By all appearances . . . the Trump brand is losing its pyritic luster. Thanks to the secret ballot and a strategically significant number of no-show Republican voters, Republican candidates have every reason to be in an electoral panic.
But in this playoff phase of baseball and politics, the game ain’t over until it’s over. Beware of the ultimate Trump card: extra-inning shenanigans.
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© 2026 by Eric Nilsson
[1] Passed in 1939, the act prohibits partisan political activities by executive branch employees.
