THE EASTER FEAST

APRIL 9, 2023 – Halfway up each of my ascents of “St. Moritz” this morning, I noticed a large twig embedded in the melting snow. With a flat irregularity at one end, the twig looked like a spike—the kind, I thought, that the Romans used to crucify Jesus and the two robbers—and doubtless countless other unfortunates who found themselves on the wrong side of Tiberian authority. What appeared as a loose spike in the snow symbolized the ultimate power portrayed by the Easter story: victory over sin and death.

The Easter story reminded me of . . . Easter dinner. In days of yore, the sumptuous feast was as much a tradition in our family as it was in millions of other households. Back in ancient times, my grandmother served the Norman Rockwellian meal of baked ham embellished with pineapple rings, potatoes au gratin and a full board of accompaniments. In subsequent years, the honors—or burdens—were assumed by my mother. Later, my wife and two of my sisters took on the responsibility. Me? Always hungry, I appreciated the plentitude of Easter feasts, but admittedly, I took the productions for granted.

This Easter, Beth is with her cousin Kathy roaming the Highlands of Scotland. I’m home alone—skiing and finding twigs that remind me of crucifixion nails. Upon recalling past Easter feasts, I decided to prepare my own. No pineapple slices were on hand, but I found a semblance of Easter staples: a bag of potatoes and a ham hock I’d removed from the freezer Friday in anticipation of making ham and split pea soup.

On the fly, I assembled a feast. Here’s how to replicate it:

Step 1: Cut pieces of ham from hock; trim fat; place in bowl; set aside.

Step 2: Scrub large potato under running water.

Step 3: Place potato on bright yellow dinner plate; to prevent explosion inside microwave, use fork and stab potato umpteen times.

Step 4: Drizzle olive oil over top of potato; turn potato over and repeat.

Step 5: Sprinkle Kosher salt over entire potato.

Step 6: Microwave potato, using “Potato – 1” function.

Step 7: Cut broccoli serving and place in bowl; put aside.

Step 8: Chop green onion; put aside.

Step 9: Pull from spice cupboard, garlic salt and “Salad Seasoning.”

Step 10: Pull from fridge, squeezable container of Dijon mustard, bag of shredded “taco cheese,” box of organic baby arugula, container of sour cream, jar of salsa you forgot was there plus the jar of sauerkraut hiding behind the salsa.

Step 11: When microwave beeper goes off, remove potato-on-dinner plate; slice potato in half; cut each half into large diamond-shapes (leaving skin intact); if not soft, cover with paper towel (to prevent drying out) and put in microwave for another minute; otherwise, go to Step 12:

Step 12: Pour liberal dose of olive oil over potato; spread ham pieces and grated cheese across top; add broccoli to plate; microwave for 30 seconds.

Step 13: Remove plate from microwave; form bed of arugula under potato; add two dollops of sour cream; add chopped green onion; add garlic salt and “Salad Seasoning” to taste; using the squeezable mustard container, make your initials across the top; shake salsa jar, pour modest portion onto potato to add zing and color; relish with sauerkraut.

Step 14: Repair to back porch and enjoy “Easter Feast for One.”

For dessert I fixed hazelnut flavored coffee with a heaping tablespoon of Ovaltine, a modest tablespoon of chocolate ice cream, a second’s worth of whipped cream and three shakes of cinnamon.

I was just finishing when our son Cory, Blake and my favorite granddaughter showed up for an impromptu Easter egg hunt in our front yard—furtively planned by Cory while Illiana entertained her mom and me on the back porch. Spirits were high, as was the mercury, at long last.

After Cory’s crew departed for another social engagement, I returned to the porch to ham-mer out this post. When Lynn next door laid out burgers on her grill for company, she saw me, said she had an extra and asked if I’d like one. It turned out to be the best damn burger I’ve ever had . . .

. . . and one of the happiest Easters.  I hope your Easter/Passover/Ramadan was too.

Now to rev up that ham and split pea soup . . .

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© 2023 by Eric Nilsson