THE DOYEN – IN MEMORIAM

OCTOBER 26, 2020 – He towered above other people even though he was of modest height and for years, couldn’t rise from his wheelchair. He will always live tall in the memory of everyone who knew him . . . who knew Dean Rhodes, my brother-in-law. He died yesterday after a brief illness rendered acute by his progressive MS, which had first surfaced in 1988.

Dean’s height among humanity was measured by his rare intelligence, his uncompromising honesty, his extraordinary wit and humor, his warm companionship, his musical talent as a professional clarinetist, his intellectual talent as a highly regarded E&Y tax accountant, his legendary embrace of classic world literature, and his extreme prowess at the Scrabble board. But above all, Dean’s tall stature was defined by his love and affection for his amazing family—my dear sister, Kristina, and their two wonderful daughters, Hillary (and George and their kids, Johnny and Annabelle) and Erica; his regard and respect for his accomplished sister, Carol; his warm engagement with in-laws and extended family.

A shorter person would not have laughed and joked at his complete disability, but Dean did just that—defining himself not by his MS but by his humorous acceptance of it. I never heard him complain about the terrible condition that fate had dealt him. I heard only cheer in his voice and found only wit and humor in his conversation; about his confinement to a wheelchair, he only joked.

Before MS forced him into early retirement from E&Y, Dean developed renown not only for his accounting expertise but for all the humor that he brought to the buttoned-down profession. He wrote extensively and produced many witty gems. After retiring, Dean wrote a whole hilarious book about his accounting career. For any accountant other than Dean, the book would have been an improbable feat. For Dean, it was a natural encore.

Dean was a keen observer and knowledgeable critic of music and writing. He redefined “avid” when it came to reading great literature.  His enthusiasm for Shakespeare, which he discovered—then devoured—late in life, was inspirational. And none of us can forget his witty, one-liner reviews of the scores of classics he read.

Dean’s passing is a loss that taxes the heart and carries forward, because the net worth of Dean’s influence on us all is inestimable.  But despite this loss we must honor his memory not with tears of sadness but with smiles and laughter from his wit and warmth. The world is a much better place because Dean Rhodes was a part of it. Inspired by his legacy, all of us who knew him will strive ever harder to make this troubled world a better place.

But in Kristina’s loving, courageous, unstinting, unfailing care of her best friend and soulmate (not to mention literary equal and Scrabble rival), we are reminded that wondrous beauty–and angels–already thrive on planet earth.

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© 2020 by Eric Nilsson