NOVEMBER 28, 2021 – Under clear skies yesterday, winds blew hard. Inside the local coffee shop steam rose from morning java. Through the caffeinated haze I heard stories of power and corruption too delicate for public consumption. Told for my amusement, they revealed the extreme zeal that drives our world.
In hearing about crazy behavior, I recalled silently my own glimpses of it in my law and corporate careers; my own first-hand views of men’s ambition . . . for nearly all corruptly crazy behavior is that of men.
One emblematic story told yesterday featured a notorious CEO, whose affinity for global travel aboard the company’s flagship jet was well known to the storyteller. The aircraft was equipped with two restroom facilities, one for the crew and the other, including a shower and other amenities, for the VIP passengers. One day the CEO got the idea that he needed to fly from New York to Shanghai. En route, the plumbing in the gold-plated bathroom malfunctioned. The CEO was incensed and refused to fly home aboard the plane unless the VIP bathroom was fixed. He wasn’t about to share the other onboard facility with lowly crew.
The trouble was that the company had a rule: only Americans could service the plane. Consequently, a back-up company plane had to fly to China to haul the CEO home. Not so long afterward, the company—and CEO—went down the crapper, so to speak. (Lest we jump to conclusions about the CEO’s background, he was an African American, raised in a Georgia hovel without indoor plumbing.)
Another tale featured a different corporate acquaintance of the storyteller. Said acquaintance was a veteran pol. Over his career, Mr. Pol had presided over gargantuan government waste, much born of corruption. At some point he dropped out of government in favor of a job as a high-level political advisor for a Fortune 500 company. One day his boss walked into Mr. (by then, former) Pol’s office and asked, “Whatta ya doin’ today?”
“Not a lot,” said Mr. X. Pol.
“Great!” said the upper-exec. “Join me on a quick trip to [outstate NY] for the dedication of a stadium. We paid for naming rights.”
Off they flew aboard the corporate jet, luxuriating in leather-bound comfort with access to five-star food service (“including cashews, not peanuts, and whole cashews no less,” the storyteller said with a chuckle), and world class wine, the best of beer, and top-of-the-line alcohol served by multiple attendants. At the dedication, the two corporate “leaders” gorged themselves on more gourmet food and ample booze. Same drill on the return trip to headquarters.
At the end of the trip, the big-shot asked Mr. Had Been Pol, “Whadja think?”
“Well,” answered the ex-politician, “government has no idea how to waste as much money as corporations do.”
As I exited the coffee shop, I smiled at the sun and inhaled crisp November air. “What a place, this planet,” I said to self, “where lust, as much as love, makes the world go ’round!”
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© 2021 by Eric Nilsson
