MAY 13, 2020 – A person doesn’t have to look far to see “stupid.” Even if one hasn’t checked the news lately, one can do a “self-reveal.” Specifically, recently when I asked (stupidly) our four-year old granddaughter what she thought made “Grandpa look so old” (she’d been joking that I looked old), she said spontaneously, “Look in the mirror, Grandpa!” Yesterday in the course of my Garage Clean-up Project, I did something very stupid, and only after I’d accomplished the task did I see how stupid it was—and without the aid of a mirror. Details a bit later in this column.
Like its opposite—“smart”—“stupid” covers a very wide spectrum, from the highly subject to the nobody-can-deny objective. Also, the smart-stupid dichotomy must be distinguished from “wise/foolish,” “prudent/imprudent,” “thoughtful/impulsive,” “observant/inobservant,” “knowledgeable/ignorant,” and many similar nuanced applications of “good judgment” vs. “bad judgment”; “humility” vs. “hubris.”
Occasionally, however, one does, says, or thinks something that is overtly . . . stupid. These occasions are instructive, because they establish the objective end of the stupid spectrum.
Take for example what one of my sisters thought—and said—aboard a train in Norway many, many years ago. Because all three of my sisters are exceptionally smart (by any objective standard), the example of “stupid” was a rare occurrence. Nevertheless, I’ll save the one sister from embarrassment by using the other two as camouflage.
The train ride was a long one—a seven-hour journey from Bergen to Oslo. After one particularly long stretch of silent gazing out the window, my sister asked out of the blue, “How do they steer trains?”
The question was so stupid, I was dumbstruck—mostly because my sister is so exceptionally smart—as are the other two, I (wisely) hasten to remind the reader. Once I recovered my senses, I laughed. “Now, just think about that question for a moment!” I said. “And the difference between a regular road and a . . . railroad.”
“Oh . . . yeah!” She laughed. Being exceptionally smart, she did not hesitate in owning the stupidity of her question.
I know three other exceptionally smart people who have done the exact same stupid thing. Each was a man packing the family car for the family’s long road-trip vacation. Each man thought he was being smart by packing the night before the planned early morning departure. Each of the three situations involved an attached garage and, most critically . . . drum roll, drum roll, drum roll . . . a rooftop luggage carrier.
Because my readers are exceptionally smart, I don’t have to say much more about how each of the three aforementioned exceptionally smart gentlemen made the same stupid mistake. And let me boost your laughter by informing you that none of the three men discovered his mistake until the moment of departure the next morning.
Now for my own act of stupidity yesterday in the . . . garage. No, the situation did not involve a car, a long road-trip, or a rooftop luggage carrier. Oops. I just hit my 500-word limit. How could I, being exceptionally stupid, be so . . . smart?
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© 2020 by Eric Nilsson
