SEPTEMBER 1, 2024 – (Cont.) “I heard a car door close. I think they’re here,” my sister Jenny said excitedly, as we stood outside the cove side of the dwelling. Eagerly we circled around to the front to welcome our visitors.
Carol is the second of four kids of the second child of the second son of George B. and Ethelyn Huntley Holman. My sisters and I are the four kids of the second child of the first son of George and Ethelyn. Because of family friction (over vision for the business the brothers owned and operated together) that developed into estrangement (fueled mostly by “UB”), Carol and her siblings had had zero contact with my sisters and me after 1964 until 2008[1]. Only now late this summer after years of Facebook postings, periodic phone calls and a fair amount advanced planning were the two sides of the family meeting face to face again.
We plunged immediately into animated conversation and shared the mutual delight in knowing that in an instant we’d buried the decades-old family rift. Jenny and I later told Carol that the person who would be most overjoyed by our rapprochement would be Mother, who was the diplomat of the family; the peacemaker; the one loved and admired by all members on both sides of the divide. Sadly, she’d been unable to convince her brother—UB—to abandon his bitterness toward their sole surviving cousin after his only sibling and the shining light of the family, Robert Holman, perished in the war (WW II). It was natural for each of us—Carol, Jenny and me—to share regret, as well, for having allowed so much time to pass before we together re-enacted “Nixon goes to China.” Yet there was a tacit understanding, I think, that given our ages and dispositions, regret is both unnecessary and undesirable.
For the next eight hours or so, including dinner at Fresh Salt right beside the marina at Saybrook Point, we simply . . . talked. Carol’s husband Barry and my wife Beth participated valiantly (Garrison had had to fly back to Minnesota for appointments). As midnight closed in and Beth, Carol and Barry had repaired to Nod, Jenny and I quickly traded mental notes downstairs. “Aren’t they just wonderful people?” said Jenny.
“Yes,” I said. “And what’s doubly cool is that we get two for one: Barry is an exemplary fellow, don’t you think?”
“Yes, totally. He’s really, really very nice,” said Jenny. “I like him a lot. And Carol—can you believe her? These are such good people! And now they’re our people!”
With that we followed the others off to sleep. Mentally, everyone was at once exhilarated and exhausted. We needed to recharge in preparation for a continuation of our conversation the next morning, when we’d take an even deeper dive into family facts and fiction; lore, stories, mysteries, triumphs and tragedies. Adding to the excitement would be a surprise appearance by Carol’s younger sister, Susan, and her husband Bob. Day Two of Rapprochement would rival Day One. (Cont.)
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© 2024 by Eric Nilsson
[1] I touched on it—and the source of friction and estrangement—in my series, Inheritance posted throughout the summer of 2023.
1 Comment
Once again logging this family adventure is truly a gift we will leave for the family members who follow. I wonder what it would have been like if our ancestors had left these blogs explaining their histories. What we do have are the pictures… Oh the pictures!!! So much to see in our relatives as they grew up and became adults. Understanding how our Uncle Robert ( my Dad’s brother) impacted and contributed so much to the Family Dynamic. Then, the friendship our grandmothers shared quietly all those years.
As for Barry, my husband, his had no idea how “cool” this reconnection would be. Because you and I , Eric had been connected at a distance for quite awhile I had faith that this would go well.
Then I met Jenny from a distance as she was assigned to “Host” us. Once again it was an instant connection. Looking back, the tone of the visit was set by the first emotional hugs we shared for more than a moment as if that physical contact was all that was needed to glue us all back together.
Thanks again for taking the risk to bring us all together again. Your Mom is Smiling on us for what we did.
Ok. Enough gushing…So long for now.