MARCH 14, 2020 – Yesterday my wife informed me that the psychic Sylvia Browne had predicted all of this—“this” being the corvid-19 pandemic. Apparently, Ms. Browne envisioned in 2008 that in 2020 a respiratory illness would rage, then disappear as quickly and mysteriously as it appeared. A decade later the contagion would reappear with a vengeance.
I was impressed, hopeful, and scared. Yikes! In a decade, I’ll be 75, well into “vulnerability.” But surely by that time we’ll have an effective vaccination. Relief.
My wife also told me that Sylvia Browne had been married and divorced four times. This information, assuming its truth, undermined my credulity. If Ms. Browne had been truly psychic, she could’ve seen better the future shoals of married life. On the other hand, maybe she saw them perfectly well but had other motives, which once served, allowed her to move on.
Unlike Sylvia Browne, I can’t “see” the future. Actually, I can’t even remember the past. For example, until yesterday, I couldn’t remember having heard of Sylvia Browne.
Soon after my wife had told me about Ms. Browne’s predictions, I received a call from “Cliff,” a New Jersey-based friend (See post on May 26, 2020). Cliff’s in the frenetic business of producing street fairs, town parties, and birthday parties for V.I.P.s.
After we exchanged greetings, Cliff described the current scene in New Jersey.
“Very little traffic on freeways,” he said. “The street outside my office is abandoned. It’s eerie! Stores are starting to empty out. I went into a local grocery store and shelves are getting bare.”
Cliff then told me that all his events had been cancelled through April. His last gig to cancel was a St. Patrick’s Day extravaganza next Tuesday at an exclusive country club. Until last Thursday, the party was still on. The board met Thursday evening to confirm. That was, until a woman said, “Really? The rest of the world is closing down and we’re going to party?! I don’t think so!” By acclamation the board voted to cancel.
Cliff and I have business dealings of our own, so we talked about the impact that corvid-19 is having on well-laid plans that predated the pandemic.
“Ever hear of Sylvia Browne?” I asked Cliff, in what must have sounded like a non sequitur.
“Yeah, I think so—a psychic, right?”
“Yep,” I said. “[My wife] told me about Sylvia Browne’s prediction regarding the coronavirus; said it would hit, retreat, and return 10 years later.” I then half-joked, “If her prediction is correct, I guess after this first wave of the virus, we’ll have another decade to complete our project!”
“Over the years,” Cliff said, “I’ve hired all kinds of psychics for my parties. Personally, I know they’re all full of sh__ .” After a beat, Cliff asked, “You know why?”
“Why?”
“Not a single one of them has been able to give me a winning lottery ticket number!”
In these sober times, that gave us something to laugh about.
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© 2020 by Eric Nilsson
