DECEMBER 26, 2020 – This Christmas Santa went all out. Under the tree he left an envelope wishing my wife a “Merry Christmas!” Inside the envelope was a fish card; that is, a nice card featuring a fine painting of a northern pike. The card happened to be remarkably similar to “fish” cards my brothers-in-law gave me . . . for Christmas . . . a few years ago.
Inside the card, in very old-style cursive script, the message started, “Knowing how much you like to fish, and having consulted the elves, I figured it was time to get you a pontoon boat.” Amazing! Though Santa was mixed up about my wife liking to fish, that hardly mattered. For many years she’s wanted a pontoon.
Why my wife had never communicated her wish to Santa is a mystery. A long time ago I learned the power of the maxim, “It doesn’t hurt to ask” and its corollary, “If a guy is smart, eventually his wife get what she wants.” But Santa works in mysterious ways, and what can’t be explained must be accepted as a matter of faith. If one questions one’s faith, what’s left? Fruitcake? What kind of a universe would that be?!
The rest of Santa’s note revealed his pragmatism, which complements—if it doesn’t contradict— his magic. He noted that delivery would have to wait until late spring, since the pontoon was too big for his sleigh, let alone our chimney flue, and that besides, a pontoon boat is a water toy, not an “ice device,” as Santa put it.
The delay didn’t matter. My wife shouted with joy at the free-hand illustration that Santa (or an elf) had drawn above his note on the inside of the card. Only 140 days, give or take, before ice will be out of the lake!
“I hafta admit,” I said, “that a pontoon sure looks like fun. No wonder it’s become the most popular form of boat on the lake. Now we’ll be able to rendezvous with pontooning friends . . . or anchor out far enough from shore to escape the mosquitoes . . . or see sunsets from way out at sea, then watch the stars come out.”
“I can’t wait,” she said. Then her practical side kicked in. “Are we going to hire someone to [deal with all the not-so-fun parts of owning a boat]?”
What Santa’s note didn’t address as why the second happiest day in a guy’s life is the day he gets a boat: lift, cover, spring launch, fall take-out, winter storage, repairs, insurance, registration. That’s where I stepped up to the plate . . . er, boat deck.
“I’ll skipper the boat, but we’ll hire someone to put everything in and take everything out of the lake. We’ll want it to be a turn-key operation,” I said.
“Great!” said my wife.
I can’t wait for us to get out on the lake on a calm, warm summer night. From the comfort of the pontoon deck we’ll find Polaris above the North Pole, and say, “Thank you, Santa!”
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© 2020 by Eric Nilsson
