NOVEMBER 21, 2021 – I’ve mentioned him before—our neighbor, “K.O.,” exactly my age, a retired high school honors English teacher, a Twins scout, and a former Republican. Yesterday he joined me on my walk to “Little Switzerland,” where we hiked hills for the equivalent of 41 flights of stairs.
Every encounter with K.O. is filled with wit and wisdom on his part. He’s a marvel of insight, erudition, and well-told stories that guarantee laughter.
K.O. is also an uncompromising curmudgeon. He mentioned a recent article in The New Yorker by Amy Davidson Sorkin that analyzes people’s resistance to Covid vaccination. This reference led to K.O.’s condemnation of Arrogant Rodgers. “If you’re an avid Packers fan and haven’t ripped up your season tickets and thrown out your Packer gear,” said K.O., you’re part of the problem.
K.O. accentuated his condemnation of Rodgers with a comprehensive indictment of the NFL. “It’s not just a reflection of our culture,” he said. “It’s a determinant and not a good one.” That means something, coming from a lifelong coach.
At the base of “St. Moritz,” K.O. humored me with a grandkid story. He told about a recent excursion to Costco with four-year old Martin. When Martin fell in love with an electric Jeep on display, K.O. checked the price tag—$350. “I don’t think so,” said K.O. Martin persisted. K.O. explained that the cost was too much, too high, too not going to happen. From Martin’s worldview, however, what was a grandpa’s purpose if not to buy an electric Jeep? K.O. punted. “Martin,” he said. “Maybe this is something Santa Claus can deliver at Christmas—but you’re going to have to tell your mom so she can relay the message to the North Pole.”
Martin wasn’t buying. “Grandpa,” he said, “that’s 100% worthless.”
As we scaled St. Moritz, K.O. told another story. Recently, K.O. had joined his second-grade grandchild’s online class session.
“Nancy, the teacher, says,” said K.O., as we reached the summit, “‘Okay’ kids, with Thanksgiving coming up, we’re going to read a story about the Pilgrims and Squanto.’ A minute into the story and out of nowhere, a student asks, ‘How did they go number two?’ Before Nancy could get a grip, another kid—named Atticus . . .
“. . . I’m not making that up—Atticus . . .” K.O. stopped just long enough to flash a smile before we circled the lofty tee and began our descent. “Atticus interrupts, asking, ‘Yeah, how did they wipe their butts?’
“When I heard that,” said K.O., “I thought, You couldn’t pay me enough . . . and while Nancy was clearing her throat, a third kid waves her arm. Treating the arm-waver as a welcome diversion, Nancy rolls the dice and the kid says, ‘I won’t be in class Tuesday, because our family will be traveling.’
“So much for Pilgrims and Squanto,” said K.O.
On our third time down “St. Moritz,” K.O. turned to his favorite pastime: literature. “Just finished reading A Passage to India—a great piece of writing.”
By walk’s end, my brain was as refreshed as my body was rejuvenated.
(Remember to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.)
© 2021 by Eric Nilsson
