“IS YOUR CLIENT FAMILIAR WITH THE POETRY OF WALLACE STEVENS?” [PART III]

JUNE 2, 2019 – I immediately called my client at home in southern France. He’d been expecting me to call after the hearing.

“How’d it go? Did we . . .”

“Can you hear me?” I said, repeatedly. Bad connection. I tried ringing again but the call wouldn’t go through. To improve the signal, I opened an awning window in the judge’s chambers and stuck my head out into the cold, phone pressed to my ear. It worked.

“That’s better,” my client said. “Did we get a ruling? Did we win?” For weeks he’d been worrying about the outcome of the motion.

“Well, actually, the judge hasn’t even held the hearing yet . . .”

“What?! It was scheduled for over two hours ago. What’s going on?”

“Well, it’s a long story,” I said, “but he dragged us back to chambers to get us to try to settle. Each of us lawyers is supposed to get authority but before we talk about that, I need to ask you a very critical question.”

“What’s that?”

“Are you familiar with the poetry of Wallace Stevens?”

“Are you crazy?!” my client asked. “You’re supposed to be calling me about the result of the hearing, and I’ve been waiting, waiting to get your call and you ask me a question like that? What’s going on?”

“Look, I just need to know, okay? The judge made a point of asking me—no, telling me—to ask you the question.   I’ve no idea why, but clearly it’s an important question; he really wants to know. So, are you familiar with the poetry of Wallace Stevens?”

“Am I?” my client said. “Of course I’m familiar with Wallace Stevens. In fact, I did my honors thesis on his poetry, and I spent a lot of time with him, frequently had meals with him at his apartment. We became very close friends. I mean, I’m as familiar with his poetry as anyone alive!”

We proceeded to discuss settlement authority. By the end of the conversation, my head was freezing.

“Il fait froid ici!” I said. “That’s too bad,” said my client. “You should move here to southern France. The climate is great.”

A few minutes after I’d ended the call and closed the awning window, the other lawyers and the law clerk rejoined me in the judge’s chambers. A little while later, the judge himself returned. The first words out of his mouth were directed at me. “Mr. Nilsson, what did you find out from your client?”

When I recounted my client’s tight relationship with the poetry of Wallace Stevens, the judge reacted as though he’d won the lottery. He couldn’t help himself in gushing his approval of my client.

Which is why when a client wants to start World War IV against an adversary, I ask, “Are you familiar with the poetry of Wallace Stevens?”

Because you just never know what could have a bearing on your case—besides the law and the facts.

© 2019 Eric Nilsson