I WORRY ME

MAY 4, 2019 – When the 448-page Mueller Report was made public, I actually attempted to read it. Instead of relying on Barr’s interpretation, let alone his client’s—wait a second, the president is not his “client”!—or anyone else’s take, I figure I’d read and interpret carefully the contents myself. I’d be the good citizen and study the centerpiece of a two-and-a-half-year mainline story.

But after 10 pages, other distractions Trumped my good intentions. For a couple of days, I slid back to habit and relied on a few newspaper articles and cable news shows to tell me “what was going on”; to learn second and third hand about the Report, Barr’s sparring with Democrats, and the political and constitutional implications of the latest dust-up between the White House and the Democratic House.

Then came a stark realization: I was actually growing tired, even bored! Political news and commentary had become excruciatingly repetitive. I realized that more than halfway through the first term of the current Administration, I was just plain exhausted reading, hearing or even thinking about the state of political affairs. That the abnormal has become normal is no longer news–any more than is the once unthinkable: the possibility of a second term.

Now, a week later . . .

I worry as I weary of the unending investigations of the president.

I worry that it’s folly even to try keeping track of ongoing developments, maneuverings, machinations, legal arguments and counter-arguments, and non-stop punditry that all of the foregoing fuel.

I worry that in dropping out of the 24/7 news cycle, I’m giving quarter to over-reaching, self-dealing, incivility, incompetence, and demagoguery by the person who is at once the leader and the principal antagonist of our democracy.

I worry that when I’m no longer outraged by the outrageous, outrageous alternatives to our imperfect democracy become more viable, then inevitable.

I worry that as I tire of talking heads talking, I’m forgetting that democracy is not for the impatient, thus hastening the day of rule by impatience.

I worry that with the near daily addition of another Democratic presidential candidate, I’m no longer listening to the mantra that a misfit is unfit to be president.

I worry that I’m losing sight of “except” in the adage, “Democracy is the worst form of government except for all the others.”

I worry that the hard work required to make our democracy healthy will seem like too big a burden to avoid the greater injustice of democracy’s alternatives.

Maybe it’s time to pull the Mueller Report back out. After all, I did download it onto my laptop. It’s there—I mean here, just a couple of clicks away—ready to be read, starting on page 11.

 

© 2019 Eric Nilsson

3 Comments

  1. Prudence says:

    I find myself lacking motivation to know and reason for myself. I ordered a hard copy of report after telling myself the online edition bothered my eyes. Then I started to think about why I’m running low on outrage. I fear it’s privilege. At the heart of my resistance is the knowledge that I would weather the decline of democracy better than most. Norwegian-Mayflower White, educated, financially secure enough to pass on privilege to protect my kids. I experience the attack on our democracy and the rule of law as an assault I can survive.

    I take no pleasure in this self awareness. I guess that’s how incremental authoritarianism succeeds. Good people who live in relative comfort give up in the face of exhaustion, discomfort and the hard work it takes to fight back.

    Back to mueller and self criticism.

  2. Kent says:

    I worry, too, about the investigation path, but worry more that we are in a trap and have to keep up the investigation pressure or the Chump will get away with the heist of the century.

  3. lee kamman says:

    I hope there are more individuals like you willing to evaluate (just as you’ve done) this crazy yet potentially dangerous situation Americans find themselves. Keep up the musings, please.

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