FEBRUARY 28, 2020 – Thanks to thoughts and prayers, we’ll endure the current crisis. Magic stopped gun violence, so surely it’ll squash a bug so tiny, it can’t be seen. Seeing is believing, right? And if you can’t see this virus, how do you know it exists? Are you really going to trust socialist CNN and communist NPR? On the other hand, the internet provides proof of thoughts and prayers—or at least what appears to be an undoctored (so to speak) photograph of the Stable Genius and the Stable Psychophant deep in prayer . . . if not thought . . . and neither has been (or will be) afflicted.
As an arch-conservative who dreams of a world where the traffic lights are optional and coin-operated, I find great relief in knowing that my hard-earned tax dollars were finally yanked from the dens of science nerds—the CDC and the NIH. How else to pay for tax cuts for hedge fund managers?
Speaking of “government,” I remind my readers that the “CoronaVirus” didn’t start in Germany, where you’d expect a beer virus to originate, but in China—a place with the world’s biggest . . . government. Plus, they steal our secrets and cause our trade deficits, so the Chinese got what they deserve.
The genius of the “Wall” has now been revealed. The original plan (surely) was to build it all the way around the country. As every self-respecting climate change denier knows, sea levels have been dropping much faster than any of those so-called “scientists” predicted, and accordingly, by now we could’ve been halfway finished with a full boundary wall. Damn those Democrats!
Another stroke of genius was the travel ban—how fortunate that the Stable Genius saw fit to slow the flow—especially now that the Beer Virus is in Islamic countries. Finally, the globalists will see the wisdom in keeping out all foreigners, including students, tourists, refugees, and other “visitors,” not to mention illegals.
And take Iran! After the Stable Genius tightened sanctions, voilá—the Beer Virus took hold with a vengeance. How did he know?! That work of genius never would have occurred to Obama.
Okay, okay. The Stable Genius doesn’t have total dominion yet. Those out-of-control Democrats pulled the plug on the stock market, then audaciously blamed it on the Beer Virus. Right there is proof of the Democrat-Media conspiracy to bring down the Stable Genius, even if they have to wreck their own lives doing so. Shame on them. In fact, they should be afflicted with the Beer Virus, and the sooner the better.
That’s exactly what’s happening, thanks again to the Stable Genius. With the Stable Psychophant in charge and the Stable Genius playing with his orange make-up, Democrats in this country will finally be silenced. As they should be. Those heathens have been criticizing the Stable Genius and the Stable Psychophant since day-one.
Pledge allegiance to the Stable Genius and the disaster for which he stands, and you’ll be inoculated against the Beer Virus—and the truth.
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© 2020 by Eric Nilsson
