SEPTEMBER 25, 2020 – The other night I woke up with a start. Despite having been fed a hearty supper and later snacks my stomach was growling. I felt no discomfort, just annoyance from the interruption of a beautiful “movie” . . . I mean, dream . . . about skiing. The noise—from my stomach, not the “movie” (I’d been skiing in deep, silent powder)—threatened to wake up the whole neighborhood, since our windows were wide open.
I had no viable choice but to take immediate corrective action. I sneaked downstairs, grabbed a stack of crackers and started munching.
While my stomach was being silenced, I filled the time by checking my smartphone. What in the world was I thinking?! Sadly, I wasn’t.
First: texts. None. Then email. From seven time zones away was a recently-arrived message from a client. My response could wait till sunrise. Next: Facebook. Yay!—a few new “likes” and one “love” of a photo I’d posted late in the evening just before retiring.
As I devoured my last cracker, I scrolled rapidly through my “newsfeed” and stopped at the previous day’s post by Minnesota Governor Tim Walz, of whom I’m a big fan.
Big mistake—checking his post, I mean; not my being a big fan. After reading a slug of vitriolic comments regarding the governor’s approach to Covid, I posted something in support of Walz.
I then returned to my “dream theatre” and slept through the rest of the night—my stomach having been silenced by “make believe” popcorn in the form of toasted wheat crackers.
By the time my alarm went off, someone had posted a nastygram in response to my post supporting Walz. It read:
[O]mg, really? You are a puppet just like walz!! You people need to WAKE UP!! YOU DEMOCRATS want a communist country huh?? WHY?? DO YOU LIKE BEING CONTROLLED by our CORRUPT GOVERNMENT? WAKE UP!
I clicked on the name of the poster and found a fully accessible profile but little information or prior activity: zero “friends,” a sketchy background, periodic YouTube videos featuring food preparation, and recycled images—owls, kitty cats, and other cheesy scenes of the sort one sees being hawked at an abandoned gas station lot. The slogan, “Make America great again!” appeared on the “person’s” front page.
Yet now Ms. Cheesy Scenes decides to post a script designed to upset me—and follows up with an entangled exchange with several other posters, each of her numerous posts mimicking closely her original post?
It occurred to me that “her” post had been placed under a “fake account,” perhaps even one originated by someone in the employ of the Czar of Russian Oligarchy. Quite possibly it was every bit as “fake” as my account is “real” but the “fake” having a real intent: to sow discord among Americans right before the election. Before I fell into the pit of artificially created conflict, I took a deep breath, made the coffee, and fed myself breakfast.
The Russian bot would have to go hungry.
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© 2020 by Eric Nilsson
