Original anecdotes, commentary, rumination, and occasional pontification.
OCTOBER 10, 2020 – Given headlines of late, one must summon humor to temper dark weather—actual and figurative—that bears down on the country. When there’s a humor shortage, my youngest niece knows how to remedy the situation. She pulls out the whoopee cushion. No matter how staid and serious the company, Maia pulls everyone present …
SEPTEMBER 25, 2020 – The other night I woke up with a start. Despite having been fed a hearty supper and later snacks my stomach was growling. I felt no discomfort, just annoyance from the interruption of a beautiful “movie” . . . I mean, dream . . . about skiing. The noise—from my stomach, …
SEPTEMBER 23, 2020 – When I worked at First Bank, now USBank, I had a boss whose name was Jim Roberts. One of my co-workers called him “Jim Bob” for short. Pretty soon, we all called Jim, “Jim Bob,” though never to his face. Jim Bob was a good boss—smart, effective, trustworthy, affable. We got …
SEPTEMBER 19, 2020 – Even though I got lost in the woods yesterday, the main point of this post is not about that—since I’m no longer lost—in the woods, anyway. Nor is this about anything broad- or big-minded; just something . . . down to earth. Know, however, that being lost in the great outdoors …
SEPTEMBER 14, 2020 – My third memorable fifth-grade lesson was about battlefield courage. The lesson could be traced directly to the Civil War. Background is in order. My dad was a student of the Civil War. He’d read all of Bruce Catton’s books on the subject and owned the four-inch-thick, illustrated volume, Civil War, published …
SEPTEMBER 13, 2020 – (cont.) As I circled the correct answer to question #4 (Susan had erased her circle around a wrong answer), I pictured a pool of vomit in the aisle; Mrs. Hilliard saying “Everyone stay calm,” then rushing out of the room; her returning minutes later with “Harry,” the friendly custodian only slightly …
SEPTEMBER 12, 2020 – My second memorable lesson from fifth grade was about guilt, taught again unwittingly by Susan Johansen, the girl who sat in front of me (see my 9/11 post – “The Sneeze”). One winter day our official teacher, Mrs. Hilliard, handed out a two-page, mimeographed math quiz and gave us instructions as …
SEPTEMBER 11, 2020 – I learned three memorable things in fifth grade. The first concerned sneezing. Until then, I’d never given sneezing much thought. When I had to sneeze, I sneezed. My sneezes were normal. They didn’t scare the cat or cause my arms to flap. And they didn’t produce improbable sounds—nothing like BZZZZZKK! which …
AUGUST 8, 2020 – On our recent trip to Connecticut, we passed through Middletown, home of prestigious Wesleyan University. My wife, who’s traveled far but never resided outside the Midwest, pronounced it “Middle-TOWN.” “I think it’s ‘Middle-TUN,’” I said. I knew this mainly because my oldest sister, an alumna of Connecticut College in New London, …
AUGUST 1, 2020 – Yesterday morning brought to Hamburg Cove my oldest sister, from Boston, and my youngest sister, from New York—each exactly a two-hour drive away. For the rest of the day, we enjoyed together this Eden midway between two major metropolitan centers of the country and a short boat trip to the Sound, …
JULY 2, 2020 – (Cont.) They pulled up their canoe onto the small landing of the little island and unloaded their gear. While the kids pitched skippers across the smooth waters around the island, Grandpa and Uncle Sugar pulled the big umbrella tent out of its oilskin bag. They soon discovered, however, that the island …
JULY 1, 2020 – Many hardy, nature-loving Minnesotans make annual pilgrimages to the million-acre BWCA (“Boundary Waters Canoe Area”) along the Canadian border. I’m not among them—the pilgrims, that is. Instead, we make regular pilgrimages to our family’s lacustrian Shangri-La in northwestern Wisconsin, south of Lake Superior and well south of the BWCA. Before my …
JUNE 26, 2020 – I have four nieces who are stand-outs. One is also a stand-up—Erica Rhodes, comedienne-extraordinaire. Based in L.A., she’s performing this week—live and via Zoom—at the Acme Comedy Club in Minneapolis. In her routine she pokes fun at uncertainties about Covid-19, saying, “No one knows anything anymore!” Her comedic statement reminds me …
JUNE 23, 2020 – People reacting to the recent rash of statue sackings fall into three groups. First: angry folks pulling down symbols of racism—symbols erected by very white, very dead white . . . women (surprise!) who’d organized themselves in 1894 as the United Daughters of the Confederacy, primarily to build all those statues. …
JUNE 9, 2020 – Yesterday I read about “the cop’s” first court appearance. Upon seeing his lawyer’s name—Eric Nelson—I thought, “Here we go again!” I just can’t get away from Nelson—or from the other downtown Minneapolis lawyer, Eric Nilssen—who . . . get this . . . is the new Minneapolis City Attorney. These incompetent …
MAY 13, 2020 – A person doesn’t have to look far to see “stupid.” Even if one hasn’t checked the news lately, one can do a “self-reveal.” Specifically, recently when I asked (stupidly) our four-year old granddaughter what she thought made “Grandpa look so old” (she’d been joking that I looked old), she said spontaneously, …
MAY 3, 2020 – With ample time now on hand, I figured it was now time to clean house, er, “garage.” Ours had long rivaled the Caine’s. They were the family that lived in a modern, flat-roofed house at the end of a long drive on a large river lot directly across the street from …
APRIL 28, 2020 – Recently my wife observed that in these times the neighborhood sounds like the neighborhood of our childhood—ours, not our sons’. Young kids are playing outside, making lots of old-fashioned noise. My wife thinks this is good. I suppose so, except when I’m trying to read out on the porch and the …
APRIL 16, 2020 – As the world struggles with The Virus, we’re learning that the spread of an invisible, highly contagious pathogen is as big a threat to humans as humans are to humans. But this attention-grabbing contagion is doing lots more than making people sick. It’s revealing in stark fashion many of the flaws …
APRIL 4, 2020 – As is the case with everyone these days, I’m learning how to deal with stress created by The Crisis. Yesterday, I discovered some “deep breathing” exercises. By the time it had occurred to me to search “deep breathing” online, the sun had slipped under the horizon, and the outside temperature had …
APRIL 1, 2020 – Even in crisis, maintain humor, especially on April Fool’s Day. On this day eons ago, our two sons devised what they thought was a brilliantly hilarious prank. In fact, it was brilliant in its simplicity, but hilarious only to our sons, since my wife or I was always on the receiving …
MARCH 24, 2020 – The nation’s wireless networks deploy a technology that alerts you to a call from a number in a vast database of suspected scam artists. Such a call is alerted by the caller ID, “SCAM LIKELY.” I do a double take whenever “SCAM LIKELY” lights up. For a nano-second, I think, “Who’s …
MARCH 20, 2020 – As “seniors,” my wife and I are of the “at risk” group for covid-19. Accordingly, with cautiously executed exceptions, we’re self-isolated. Waiting things out amidst all the knowns, unknowns, claims, data, missing data, apparently reliable information and obviously bogus information, I’ve nailed down one certainty: our imaginations thrive during a crisis. …
MARCH 18, 2020 – Yesterday, I enjoyed a long-distance conversation with Dean, one of my brothers-in-law. I introduced my blog-followers to Dean last September (see The Dean of Readers – 9/16). For newcomers, he’s wheelchair bound by multiple sclerosis. His mind, however, soars freely and far beyond his physical limitations. He and my oldest sister …
MARCH 14, 2020 – Yesterday my wife informed me that the psychic Sylvia Browne had predicted all of this—“this” being the corvid-19 pandemic. Apparently, Ms. Browne envisioned in 2008 that in 2020 a respiratory illness would rage, then disappear as quickly and mysteriously as it appeared. A decade later the contagion would reappear with a …