Author: Eric Nilsson

PSYCHIC HUMOR FOR SOBER TIMES

MARCH 14, 2020 – Yesterday my wife informed me that the psychic Sylvia Browne had predicted all of this—“this” being the corvid-19 pandemic. Apparently, Ms. Browne envisioned in 2008 that in 2020 a respiratory illness would rage, then disappear as quickly and mysteriously as it appeared.  A decade later the contagion would reappear with a …

DO YOUR PART!

MARCH 13, 2020 – TRIGGER WARNING: In this post, I swear twice . . . Damnit! Time to treat The Virus for what it is: the biggest threat to our way of life since . . . take your pick of national crises. This could well be our Grand Duzy.  My evidence? Italy, a country …

STORM AT SEA

MARCH 12, 2020 – Tuesday evening I’d composed a post for Wednesday.  Entitled, “BERNIE BURNIN’,” it lampooned CNN coverage of primary results Tuesday evening. By Wednesday morning it seemed trivial, irrelevant, and not very humorous. My daily voyage got struct by a rogue wave, within a sea-change inside a hurricane. For days I’d been on …

SHOOT FOR THE MOON!

MARCH 9, 2020 – Yesterday’s edition of The New York Times—delivered late and to a dwindling snowbank more than stocking feet away from our front step—contained the usual week’s worth of interesting reading material.  However, given the ridiculously nice weather that blossomed over our region, I read nothing except the lead story of the SundayStyles …

PANIC OVERRIDE

MARCH 8, 2020 – Yesterday one of our sons said to my wife and me, “You have to quit looking at the news.” Sound advice—after reading that one more article by an infectious disease physician or one more report about a statistician’s explanation of risk algorithms, either of which article/report seems to leave me with …

LEARNING PANIC; PANIC LEARNING

MARCH 7, 2020 – Life is a big carnival ride that suddenly lost its power.  Some of us are swinging in the very highest seats looking out over the carnival grounds as the sun’s light and warmth dip toward the horizon. Others of us are swinging upside down, growing more nauseous by the minute.  A …

BERNIE AND . . . “LUDWIG”

MARCH 6, 2020 – Yesterday evening my book club met to discuss this month’s book—the Beethoven biography (see February 23 post)—along with our perennial topic: politics.  Both the book discussion and the political talk were robust. Only one of us had read all 937 pages of the biography.  I was second at page 825 plus …

SIX GUYS, FIVE CONVERSATIONS

MARCH 5, 2020 – Yesterday I had five intense political conversations—takes on the fourth-round playoffs. The first conversation was with a guy on my bus.  In his early thirties, he’s secure and established. Exceptionally well informed, he’s even keeled in his demeanor and political views. Before The Great Consolidation, he’d been searching for the right …

JOE PHOENIX AND THE BERN

MARCH 4, 2020 – Yesterday evening, I watched CNN’s political-sportscasters “call” the primary results.  As a political junkie, I was in junkie heaven, as Wolf Blitzed, King John, David (Not) Chillin’, Van Man Jones, Tim McCall-it-all-Off, Glorious Berger, David Axelshaft, Joe Tapster, Dr. Al-Said-and-Done, Energy Woman, and Malik the Annunciator reacted and re-reacted to the …

BROCCOLI, NOT COTTON CANDY

MARCH 3, 2020 – The system is broken. Too much treasure and bandwidth are allocated to campaigns to nominate, then elect a president. As I’ve shouted here before, if we didn’t know better—and I’m thinking we don’t—we’d believe our representative democracy is a quadrennial election for an absolute, four-year dictator who wields a magic wand/club. …

CROSSING THE PARTY LINE

MARCH 2, 2020 – Possible topics for today: Pete ending his campaign and the effect on Democratic presidential politics; OR the coronavirus and my temporary insanity triggered by Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Rush Limbaugh, and Donnie Trump, Jr., not to mention Vacant Mind himself. For readers who are out of the know, Vacant Mind, FoxGoebbels …

NOW, THERE’S A STORY, MAJIEC!

MARCH 1, 2020 – Yesterday evening my wife and I gathered with friends at a restaurant in old St. Paul.  The occasion was a stop-over by Majiec Czarnecki, one of our World Press Institute Fellows (Poland) from several years back. He’s on assignment in the U.S. through November. We covered many subjects, but of course, …

DECIDEDLY UNDECIDED . . . AND DECIDED

FEBRUARY 29, 2020 – At every chance, I’ve been asking fellow Minnesotans how they’ll vote next Tuesday. My findings: People under the age of 35 are overwhelmingly in the Bernie camp; Older people are overwhelmingly undecided. Me? So far, I’m an older person. (That was a semi-joke.) Here’s my run-down of the field: Pete. Positives: …

“I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE . . .”

FEBRUARY 28, 2020 – Thanks to thoughts and prayers, we’ll endure the current crisis. Magic stopped gun violence, so surely it’ll squash a bug so tiny, it can’t be seen.  Seeing is believing, right? And if you can’t see this virus, how do you know it exists? Are you really going to trust socialist CNN …

FEELIN’ THE BERN WITHOUT GETTING BURNED

FEBRUARY 27, 2020 – It’s looking more like Bernie will be the Democratic nominee. “Let me be cleah”—I myself am not a Bernie supporter, though if he is the nominee, I’ll have no trouble voting for him over the Wrecking Ball, assuming of course, that Bernie isn’t incapacitated by a heart situation. I disagree with …

SLUGFEST

FEBRUARY 26, 2020 – After watching yet another Democratic “debate,” I’m convinced that these “debates” are a Republican plot.  Who among Democrats thinks these are a good idea? First, if you aren’t yet familiar with the candidates’ policy positions; their speech patterns, head movements, and hand gestures, you haven’t been paying attention.  Bernie “Not-so-Sociable” Sanders …

THE (ESSENTIAL) TRIANGLE

FEBRUARY 25, 2020 – Many people are tired of politics and politicians.  Without politics/politicians, however, our society couldn’t exist. They (and we!) are part of an essential triangle. The first side is “law.”  Law is necessary for national cohesion. It’s also the sine qua non of personal freedom, private property (right down to your underwear), …

“MONEY SCHEME”

FEBRUARY 24, 2020 – Much has been said about the corrosive effect of money in elective politics. I’d guess that most Americans would agree it’s a problem and would support remedial legislation.  But headway in campaign finance reform is prevented by substantial headwinds. It’s a circular dilemma: to get money out of politics, we first have …

THE TITAN

FEBRUARY 23, 2020 – Someone in my book club (not I) had the bright idea of choosing a biography of Beethoven by the American scholar/composer/teacher, Jan Swafford. Nearly 1,000 pages long, this “score” is no beach book. I’m only at page 420—with 12 days before our book club meeting. I’d previously read George Marek’s tome about …

NO CLUB, NET, SPEAR, OR SCYTHE REQUIRED

FEBRUARY 22, 2020 – These days, we dwell on the crazy and dysfunctional about our politics.  I hear people—myself included!—say, “It’s never been this bad.” And yet, despite our insanity, we manage many things extraordinarily well.  When we’re down on the state of our world, it’s important to take stock of what does work and celebrate …

PARTY TIME

February 21, 2020 – I have a plan for the Democrats. It goes like this: Just before Super Tuesday, the Las Vegas “debaters” plus Steyer hold a conclave–and create a huge media buzz around it. Then on the day before the multi-state primary, they hold a prime-time press conference. The group strides in led by …

“AND THE WINNER IS . . .”

FEBRUARY 20, 2020 – . . . not America.  Yesterday evening, my wife watched the Democratic “debate.” To be blunt, we were appalled by much of the proceedings. And neither one of us can stand what has disgraced the White House and the country for the past three years. That loser seemed to be the …

“PARDON ME, JIMMY!”

FEBRUARY 19, 2020 – With his pardon binge, Trump crossed the line.  In my mind, the crazy guy has become “Jimmy,” a kid in my grade school who terrorized the teachers, the principal, and all the other grown-up staff, not to mention us normal-to-semi-normal kids. Jimmy (not his real name), was in the “special class” …

A MORE PROGRESSIVE PROGRESSIVE MESSAGE

FEBRUARY 18, 2020 – Yesterday’s opinion in The New York Times by “Editorial Observer,” Alex Kingsbury, contained a disturbing detail: fewer than a third of all young people qualify to serve in the military.  The leading disqualifications: (a) lack of education; (b) criminal records; and (c) obesity. This speaks loudly about a silent crisis all …

A PRESIDENTIAL DAY

FEBRUARY 17, 2020 – When I was in grade school, everyone knew Lincoln’s birthday and Washington’s. Those dates were as common knowledge as the fact that Fourth of July fell on . . . July 4. But with the Uniform Federal Holidays Act of 1971, many holidays, including Washington’s birthday, were moved to the closest …