AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL (FAÇADE)

MARCH 26, 2021 – When images of houses blown to bits by tornadoes flash across the screen, most people see . . . images of houses blown to bits by tornadoes. What I see is cheapskate construction, even in upscale neighborhoods. I see in the wreckage behind the on-site reporter, lots of OSB (oriented strand board), faux brick facing, faux stone facing, and . . . lousy fasteners. Tornadoes are notoriously fickle, so the fact that one house is flattened and the house next door or across the street stands relatively untouched isn’t an indication of superior construction among survivors. From one house to the next, from one development to another, builders use the same methods and materials.

The fact is most home construction of the past few decades has involved materials and construction techniques that aren’t designed for longevity—let alone tornadic winds. OSB sheathing is much cheaper than lumber and faster, easier to apply—hence, lower labor costs. Nail guns and staple guns that miss studs half the time don’t work as well as nails pounded with a framing hammer by the hand of a seasoned craftsman.

Then there’s the matter of dimensional lumber—2 x 4s, etc. not being actually 2” x 4” but 1-1/2” x 3-1/2”, etc. Plus, “2-bys” are made from fast-growing plantation pine and not as strong as fir or old-growth, wild pine.

In olden times a house was built out of lumber and nails pounded true. Under siding and shingles were actual roofing boards, not sheets of OSB; frames were built of old growth lumber a full two inches wide and nailed tightly by hammer-wielding framers, not a gang of nail-gun-slinging hot shots building a 30-day wonder that might not outlast the 30-year mortgage that will encumber the property.

Sure, elements of modern home construction have improved—window glazing; wall and roof insulation; vapor barrier material; sealing around doors and windows; the efficiency of furnaces and air-conditioners; and the household internet of things. But none of these improvements enhances protection against tornadoes. Only real lumber, firmly fastened—or better yet, real brick or stone and mortar—stands a fighting chance against extreme winds . . . and the normal ravages of time.

Of course, fir and old growth pine haven’t been used in decades because our ancestors clear-cut vast regions of the country to build the America of yesteryear.  Today’s $400,000 (or $800,000), 30-day wonder would cost twice as much if it were built with care out of “real” materials—lumber and nails; brick, stone, and mortar.

Don’t worry.  I haven’t donned a MAGA cap. America culture has long been about image over substance, which explains why so many tens of millions of people voted for Mr. MAGA—not once but twice. More to the point, our Big Mac(Mansion), faux-Georgian fetish is what keeps so many 30-day wonder builders in business and their contract labor in big, shiny pick-ups. When all is said and nail-gunned, American the Beautiful (Façade) comes down to making quick, easy money—and blowin’ it in the wind.

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© 2021 by Eric Nilsson